Post by Cyberstrike on Apr 7, 2018 19:24:03 GMT
We go to ringside where the pyros explode to kick off an action packed edition of X-WCW Warzone. The cameras pan over to the announcer’s desk to show James Russell and Randal King.
JR: “Good evening folks to another edition of WARZONE! I am James Russell and beside me here as always is Randal King. We are here at the sold out Frank Erwin Center in Austin Texas.”
RK: “They say Texas is the home of the big things, JR. Tonight, it will be a big night for the X-WCW. Tonight Warzone is hitting the big 3-5 and we have a confirmation of two title matches. First up we got the television title on the line as Mike Magnus defends it against Greg Biafra and the three-way tag team title match with RNR, Starstorm, and the champs Final Frontier.”
JR: “With two title matches on the line, King, this WILL be one for the books.”
“Fury of the storm” hits and Tony Bonito enters ringside wearing the usual red, white, and blue hooded sports jacket. He has the two belts strapped on his waist while he casts his head down on the stage. Eventually, he looks up while his index fingers point into the air and red, white, and blue pyros shoot up from the stage. He makes his way down the rampway as the fans boo loud and chant “Nito, Sucks!” at him.
THII: “Making his way to the ring, he is the X-WCW Champion and the holder of the Tony Bonito Worl Heavyweight Title, TONY BONITO!!!”
Bonito enters the ring and climbs up the nearest corner he could find inside. He takes off his hood and roars towards the crowd with both arms raised in the air. He hops out of the corner and grabs the mic from THII. He waits for his music, and the chants possibly, to fade down.
TB: “As you can see on my waist, I now have two symbols that prove that I am the greatest. I told you all before, I finally did it, thanks to my efforts and the revolution’s we made the X-WCW a better place to compete in. No longer would young, talented, and up and coming wrestlers languish due to the overpowering force that is the nTo. In fact if you look at it, the nTo is a shell of its former self. You people thought they would rise again just because a certain Cane Deathscream is running it?”
TB laughs before he speaks again.
TB: “That’s laughable. Remember, the time that Cane leads a group or is head of something, a lot of things would screw up. Yeah, he sure did lead the army of darkness didn’t he? After he lost, he crawled his way back to Christopher Back and sought forgiveness. For that, he got the General Manager job, in which he did a bang up job by the way. To be honest, he did so good, he lost to a drunk! So after that, he left the X-WCW, only came back years later to try and restore the nTo while the two figures of Chris Back and D-Extreme are gone.”
TB shakes his head as he pauses. In the arena, we can hear a faint “n-t-o” chant amongst the crowd.
TB: “Sad to say, Cane, you and the current nTo morons don’t have what it takes to restore it to its former glory. Face it, just like disco, the nTo is already dead. You and the rest of its current members just hang onto it for namesake purposes and nothing more. Face it, me and the Revolution singlehandedly defeated the nTo ever since we took out Chris Back during the X-Rumble!”
He raises his arm in the air as the fans continue to boo him. All of a sudden, “Deadly game” comes blasting through the speakers and the fans cheer to the appearance of Cane Deathscream.
JR: “Speaking of Cane and the nTo, King, the big blue machine himself is marching down to ringside with intent in his eyes.”
RK: “From the looks of it, JR, he is none too pleased either.”
CD enters the ring by going over the ropes. Tony Bonito and Cane Deathscream look at each other in contempt before Cane grabs his own microphone and points directly at Bonito.
CD: “Bonito, why don’t you do everyone here a damn favor and shut the hell up?! You think you beaten the nTo? You think were just a shell of our former selves? You know I have had it up to here with you running your mouth and talking smack about the me and the nTo. Just because you took out our leader Christopher Back, and also D-Extreme, doesn’t mean were dead and sleeping under the water with the fishes.”
Cane pulls down his hand and paces around the ring while he continues to speak.
CD: “You can go ahead and tell the world about how much times you got the upper hand on the nTo. How you got Powermaster Prime and Bombshell to defect to the Revolution, or even the time you got help from Jack Blade to get the title. However, you cannot claim that the nTo is DEAD! Tonight, as I’ve said, I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you yapping about and thinking your great and you know what I am going to do about it? I’m challenging you tonight for your belts!”
The fans cheer while Bonito shakes his head.
TB: “Whoa. Slow down there BUCKO! I am open to kicking your ass tonight, but I don’t even think your #1 contendership material. Not after I beaten your ass in Starrcade: Revolution.”
CD: “Oh, now what is this Tony? If I’m that beatable why can’t you STILL put your title on the line? Are you a chicken? You yellow?”
CD laughs at TB, who is visibly getting angered by the man’s mocking of him.
TB: “FINE! You got your damn title match, bucko! I’m going to show you who’s yellow after I’m through with you!”
TB glares at Cane Deathscream, who now nods approvingly to the champion’s decision.
CD: “You know Bonito, I might be wrong about you. You may not be so yellow after a-”
“Hate it or luv” hits the speakers and Karl Baller comes out with a mic on his hand. Both Cane and TB look at the stage while the fans chant “BALLER!” rather loudly.
JR: “King! Karl Baller is in the house right now!”
RK: “Oh man, I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be here. You know, every time he tries to interrupt Tony Bonito, it’s either the Revolution or Jack Blade who will lay him out seconds later. Just for precautionary needs and all, he has to just bolt outta here before he gets his bearings yet again.”
KB keeps himself on the stage and pulls up the mic to near his lips and begins to speak.
KB: “Ayo, I see that good ol’ Tony Bonito has been handing out free title matches tonight. Now I’ve told you last time we met, Bonito, when I finish off Jack Blade and Radon in my match, I’m gunnin for you and your title! Remember, we still have a title match for tonight, and don’t even think of taking that one away just so you can appease Cane Deathscream and try to repair his damaged ego!”
Cane glares at KB and points at him before TB shakes his head and backs away from the ropes.
TB: “OK! OK! Sheesh! Seems like I’m in high demand tonight huh? FINE! Baller, you still get the rematch from me tonight, infact, I will be in TWO one on one matches tonight defending my gold and proving to both of you and the rest of these people here that I am the best X-WCW wrestler to date!”
RK: “Is he serious?! I don’t think Bonito is thinking right tonight, JR! He is seriously putting his belts on the line tonight? TWICE?!”
JR: “You heard the man, King. He is the champion and if he accepts both challenges and gets approval from John Crook, it can be set to stone that tonight, we have TWO separate matches for the X-WCW Championship and the Tony Bonito World Heavyweight Title.”
The fans cheer for this announcement and we see KB having a smirk on his lips while he stands there on the stage and nods in approval. Back in the ring, Cane turns at TB and applauds him while Bonito looks at both of them before speaking.
TB: “Well I hope that’s the last complaint I got tonight. Now I suggest you two go get ready to take me on, cause I know I’m all but set out to do you both in.”
“Fury of the storm” hits the speakers and X-WCW Warzone goes to commercials as we see Tony Bonito raising both his titles in the air as he faces both Cane and Baller.
X-WCW TV Championship
Greg Biafra vs Mike Magnus (c)
JR: "Welcome back to Warzone folks. Our first match is about to get underway and it will be Mike Magnus defending his TV championship against the straight-edge Greg Biafra."
RK: “Which he’ll be winning tonight. Because straight-edge means he’s better than Mike Magnus.”
JR: “That remains to be determined.”
“I want to conquer the world” by Bad Religion hits the PA. Out from the back emerges Greg Biafra who receives a fairly unfavorable heel reaction from the crowd. He crosses his arms in the straight-edge X formation then walks down to the ring. He enters the ring and poses in the ring. He awaits his opponent.
“To the Pain” by Nonpoint plays and the crowd cheers as Mike Magnus emerges with the TV title around his waist. He shake hands with a few fans and enters the ring. he poses on the turnbuckle and holds the title up high for an even louder cheer. He hands the belt to the referee who holds it high to signify what the contest is for.
THII: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our opening contest and it is for the X-WCW TV Championship. To my left, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 238 pounds, the challenger, Greg Biafra!”
The crowd boos some more.
THII: “And to my right, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 217 pounds, he is the reigning and defending X-WCW TV Champion, Mike Magnus!”
The crowd cheers some more.
The ref signals for the bell and the match is underway. The two men lock up.
JR: “And Greg Biafra will get the early advantage here after sending Mike Magnus to the ground on that exchange.”
RK: “Told you he was better, This shouldn’t take too long.”
Magnus tries to get to his feet, but Biafra clubs him in the back. He then shoots off the ropes and nails Magnus with a drop kick. He goes for a cover and Magnus kicks out at two.
JR: “Magnus showing his resiliency on that one. He gets the shoulder up.”
RK: “Some call it resilience, I call it stupidity.”
JR: “Yeah, well you face is stupid.”
RK: “Is that the best you can do, play by play man?”
Biafra goes to pick Magnus up, but Magnus responds with several shot to the gut and gets to his feet. Magnus connects with a couple of forearm shots and whips biafra off the ropes. Magnus hits him on the retrun with a spinning wheel kick. Magnus looks like he’s going to cover, but he doen’t and begings to lay into Biafra with a series of punches. Magnus gets up and climbs the turnbuckle.
JR: “Magnus is gonna go high risk early here.”
Magnus waits until Biafra gets up and leaps off with a flying cross body. Both men come crashing down and Magnus rolls Biafra up for a pin. Unfortunately the momentum of the move puts Magnus into the pinning predicament. Biafra goes for the cover now.
1,2, and Magnus kicks out
JR: “That late momentum shift could have cost Magnus his title, but he still manages to kick out.”
RK: “He’s just delaying the inevitable. He’s still gonna lose.”
Both men get back up and Biafra charge and nails Magnus with a clothesine. Magnus gets back up only to be taken down by another one. Magnus gets up a third time and gets nailed with a Pele kick from Biafra.
RK: “I heard Biafra learned that one in the pit of hardcore show in LA.”
JR: “Very impressive move from Biafra. He has Magnus in the corner and now Biafra takes to the turnbuckle. He’s looking to go high risk now.”
Biafra jumps off the ropes with a diving headbutt, but Magnus just mangaes to get out of the way. Biafra crashes and burns on that one. Biafra is rolling in pain and Magnus is trying to get back to his feet. He manages to get up and grabs Biafra. He irish whips Biafra over into the corner. He follow up with a stinger splash.
JR: “Magus puts it in his favor again. Now he starts lighting up Greg Biafra with some Ric Flair like chops.”
Sure enough, the crowd notices the chops. After each chop Magnus delivers, the crowd respinds with a hearty “WOO!”
After several chops, Magnus gabs Biafra and delivers an arm drag to send him away from the corner. He then follows that up with a kick to the back of Biafra. He goes for a cover and only gets a two count.
JR: “Another near fall there. This is getting tense.”
Magnus goes to work over Biafra who is on his knees. Biafra fights back with a couple of forearm shots to Magnus and gets back to his feet. He grabs Magnus and locks in an abdominal stretch.
RK: “Here it comes, Magnus has to submit.”
JR: “He hasn’t yet. He’s gonna fight. Biafra with the abdominal stretch .The ref is asking him if he wants to quit. Will you look at that! With the referee focused on magnus, Biafra is uing the ropes to cheat.”
RK: “It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”
When the ref look back up at Biafra, he takes his hand off the rope he was using for leverage. Once the referee returns his attention to Magnus, the hand goes right back to the rope. Biafra pulls his body toward the rope, making Magnus hurt even more. even so, he doesn’t give up.
JR: “Magnus has that look on his face. You can tell he’s in excrutiating pain, but he’s not going to give up. He’s a determined champion.”
The ref looks up and sees Biafra with his hand on the rope. He begins the five count and Biafra pulls harder until the count of four when he lets go. He bounces off the rope and delivers a high knee lift to Magnus. He picks him up for the Anarchyer.
RK: “He’s going for the kill now. It’s gonna be over.”
JR: “You may be right. NO! Magnus flips through it. Irish whip sends Biafra off the ropes and YES! MAGNUS DRIVER!”
Magnus nails his finishing manuever and goes for the cover.
The crowd counts along with the pin.
1...2...3!
THII: “Here is your winner and still X-WCW TV Champion, Mike Magnus!”
“To The Pain” plays and Mike Magnus is handed the TV Championship belt. He holds it high and celebrates.
JR: “That’s just the beginning of what’s gonna happen tonight. Still to come tonight we have the three way match for the Tag Team Championship. Final Frontier defends against StarStorm and RNR. We’ll be back after this.”
A graphic with the three tag teams appears on screen with the words “Later Tonight” before the screen fades to commercial.
Backstage
We go backstage and we see Cole Ryan uncomfortably standing beside the recently returned X-WCW Superstar Judge Death.
CR: “We are here backstage with former X-WCW Television Champion, Judge Death. So JD, simple question first, how does it feel to be back in the X-WCW after months of absence?”
Judge Death awakens from a daydream about squirrels with laser guns.
JD: "It ffeelss like rissing ffrom a warm bubble bathh, only to emerge in a bucket off putrid ffilthh, ssurrounded by gypssiess withh odd wigss. But thhen, what elsse iss new? I ffeel thhiss way evverywhere I go. Actually, 'Ssstrike doess not like it when I am sso negativve, doess he? Jusst edit thhiss to ssay 'it iss good' later on."
CR: “Great to hear. So tonight, you will be facing Static and Cruel, the duo that makes the newest X-WCW tag team called Westcoast’s Finest. Do you have any thoughts about those two men before your match?”
Judge Death denies the rewind and slips in a prime cut - boyackah!
JD: "I havve little time ffor thhiss quote-unquote 'gangssta' nonssensse. Ssstatic and Cruel havve made it thheir bussinesss to harasss thhe Real American, and whilsst ssuch actionss are to thheir credit, thhiss alone iss nowhere near enoughh to sspare thhem thhe judgement thhey richly desservve. Pluss, I ffind thheir tasste in clothhing to be obnoxxiouss, sso thhey musst die ffor thhat iff nothhing elsse."
CR: “Since it is a tag team match, you do know your partner for the night is Tommy Capello. In your opinion, what would you make of this eager young man who keeps on challenging anyone to fight him since his debut? Do you think it hinders his development as a wrestler getting into fights that he cannot win so far?”
Judge Death is seriously considering eating John McCain's wife.
JD: "Thhiss boy amussess me, it musst be ssaid. Hiss eagernesss ffor combat almosst matchess mine. And off coursse, it wass not eassy ffor me at ffirsst, eithher...but you pick up a ffew trickss off thhe trade affter thhe ffirsst hundred or sso yearss. I am ssure thhe ssame growthh princciple shhall apply to Tommy in due time. Oh yesss, and beffore I fforget, he musst alsso die in due time. But you knew thhat already, right?"
CR: “UHm..yes…sure. Anyways, thank you for having time to talk to us before the match. We will go back now to ringside for the tag team match featuring Westcoast’s Finest vs Judge Death and Tommy Capello.”
Westcoast’s Finest vs Judge Death and Tommy Capello
We go to ringside and see Terri Hotbody II in the ring with a microphone in her hand.
THII: “The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.”
“California Vacation” plays in the speakers and Static and Cruel come out to a negative response from the crowd as they taunt them on stage.
THII: “Introducing first, the team of Static and Cruel, WESTCOAST’S FINEST!!!”
The duo make their way down the rampway and continue to taunt the fans as they make a headway to the ring.
JR: “These two had a nice debut last time on Nitro as they soundly defeated The Lost Boys.”
RK: “I can tell from the crowd, JR, that these guys are not too friendly with them.”
JR: “Indeed they are. These two seem to be oozing of confidence and are out to prove that they belong in the X-WCW tag team division.”
The two slide into the ring and continue to pose for the fans while their music continues to play. Eventually, they go to one corner of the ring and await their opponents. “Clubbed to Death” by Rob Dougan hits the house speakers as the TC enters the ringside area with a warm reception from the crowd.
THII: "Introducing their opponents. First, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is "The Fight King", TOMMY CAPELLO!!!"
JR: “Tommy Capello, a lot can be said about this young competitor.”
RK: “A lot, JR. I can agree to that. Though I don’t agree that ‘winner’ is one of them. He better try to hang with the big boys here in the X-WCW, JR. He has shown flashes of brilliance but he has not yet won a match.”
JR: “I can say that the same could be said to former champion Karl Baller during his rookie year here. He had to lose 7 matches before hitting it big. Tommy, on the other hand may have the same start but I have to agree to you that he indeed needs to step it up if he ever wants to be taken seriously in the X-WCW. Well, tonight is one of those chances where he can prove his mettle.”
TC stays on the rampway and waits for his partner. Soon enough, “Out of the silent Planet” hits and Judge Death enters to a round of cheers from the crowd. TC slowly tilts his head to see JD stand behind him and JD shrugs his shoulders and looks at his partner.
THII: “And his partner, from Deadworld, he is JUDGE DEATH!!!”
Both JD and TC look at the ring and slowly make their way down the ramp. TC makes the most of his time going down to slap some hands of the fans while JD tries to do the same, only the fans pull away their hands, frightened of slapping palms with the returning X-WCW superstar.
RK: “Haha! Poor JD. Sure, they cheer for him but no one wants to give him a high five, how funny is that?”
JR: “I have no clue, King. I’m just sure about one thing, this has to be the oddest pairing in the X-WCW yet.”
Both men enter the ring in different fashions with TC sliding into the ring and JD slowly making himself enter it through the ropes. Static and Cruel look across the ring to see their opponents as JD’s music fades out into obscurity.
JR: “As both of us said, this is an odd pairing for a tag team, Tommy Capello and Judge Death.”
RK: “Well we have seen odder pairings such as D-Extreme and Ignavus. Well, you know how that fared up didn’t it?”
JR: “Yes I do, King. Potentially, this might be getting a similar future if they do hit it off tonight.”
RK: “If they don’t, hey it was good for a couple of laughs right?”
The bell rings and we see both Tommy Capello and Cruel go to the center of the ring to start for their respective teams. Both men lock up and TC quickly applies an arm bar on Cruel. He has it locked on his opponent momentarily since Cruel uses his free arm to grab onto TC and reverse the submission move. While he has TC’s arm locked, he wrenches it a couple of times before he drives a hard elbow to the arm before he lets go.
JR: “Cruel and TC start off this match with an exchange of holds.”
RK: So far, it looks like Cruel got the upper hand in that exchange.”
Cruel grabs TC and tries to send him into the ropes, but it is reversed. TC waits for Cruel to come back to him and he takes him down with a quick armdrag. Cruel gets to his feet and gets hit by a couple of punches and kicks to the side of his body. Cruel is backed into the ropes and TC sends him to the other side. Cruel bounces off the ropes and TC tries to deliver a spinning wheel kick only to be ducked by his opponent. Cruel comes off the other side and he takes TC down with a running bulldog faceslam.
JR: “TC got caught with that bulldog by Cruel and he goes down. Cruel, picks up Tommy Capello and delivers some hard clubs on the back.”
After delivering some clubbing blows to TC, Cruel reels him in and delivers a hard knee to the gut that sends him down. TC is sitting on the mat and Cruel bounces off the ropes to deliver a boot to the man’s face.
RK: “A vicious assault by Cruel sends Tommy boy down! Man that was a brutal shot given by Cruel. The man really is what his name says he is.”
Cruel drags TC by the legs and tags out to Static. Cruel holds TC’s legs and catapults him towards the corner. TC meets face first with the turnbuckle before he stumbles into a powerslam pin combination by Static.
JR: “The pin is made..1…2.and TC gets his shoulder up.”
Static picks up Tommy Capello and hits some hard chops across his opponent’s chest. He sends him into the ropes and catches him with a hiptoss. With TC down, Static delivers a fist drop straight to TC’s face. Static gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes before he delivers a running knee drop to the face of Tommy Capello.
RK: “It seems to me like TC’s face is the favorite target tonight. HAHAHA!”
Tommy Capello struggles to get up, but once he is up, he is met by a kick to the mid-section. Static grabs him and delivers a snap suplex to take him down yet again. Tommy Capello gets to his feet and is met by a hard punch that dazes him. He is sent into the corner where Static follows him. However, Static eats boot as TC sticks out his feet. Static is momentarily stunned and TC takes him down with a spinning kick to the chest. Tommy waits for Static to get to his feet before he runs at him and takes him down with a spinning leg lariat.
JR: “Tommy Capello, hits that spinning leg lariat and is trying to make a comeback here.”
RK: “Let’s hope he does cause even I am getting sick of him getting his ass beat.”
Tommy Capello bounces off the ropes as Static gets to his feet. Soon, TC tries to clothesline Static, but Static ducks out and takes TC to the mat with a neckbreaker. Static tags out to Cruel and both men pick up TC to his feet before they deliver a double clothesline on him. TC is down and Cruel stomps down on the fallen man. Cruel picks up Tommy Capello and sends him hitting the nearby corner. With TC stuck at the corner, Cruel unloads some hard knee strikes to the body of his opponent before he lifts him up on the top rope. Cruel goes up to the second rope and readies for a superplex.
RK: “Cruel is going for a high risk here, JR.”
JR: “I can see what you mean, King. However, Capello is fighting back with some well placed punches to the rib area of his opponent.”
Tommy Capello shoves Cruel out of the way and the man falls off from the corner. Cruel gets to his feet only to be on a receiving end of Tommy’s missile dropkick from the top rope. Both men are down and we see the fans actually chant for Tommy as he stirs around the mat.
JR: “The fans are behind Capello to get up to his feet.”
RK: “I think they just want him to tag out and save himself from a beating.”
Both men slowly make it back to their corners and tag out to their respective partners. Static and Judge Death enter the ring. Static charges at Judge Death, only to be taken down by a clothesline from Death. Static gets up, but is caught by the throat thanks to JD. Judge Death kicks Static and quickly shifts his hold to a front face lock and eventually sending his opponent down with a DDT. Judge Death gets to his feet and notices Cruel charging towards him. Within a second, he sends him down with a drop toe hold that leaves a very hilarious situation as Cruel heabutts his partner on the groin area. This draws a few laughs from the crowd while we see Static holding the area below his belt in pain.
RK: “ahahah! Talk about awkward, JR.”
JR: “That was some sort of unexpected occurrence more than anything, King. Nevertheless, that would have Static feeling sore till the morning.”
Cruel slowly gets to his feet and Judge Death catches him with a hard buzzsaw-like kick to the side of the head. Cruel is knocked out while Judge Death picks up Static. He throttles Static up using his left hand and drives his right palm into the chest cavity. We hear Static somehow exhale and once JD lets go, Static slumps down the mat and lies motionless.
JR: “That is the finishing more that JD calls the ‘touch of death’, King.”
RK: “Man, now we know WHY he calls it that. I think Static is dead or something now. Hopefully, he’s just out cold.”
Judge Death pins Static and the referee starts the count.
JR: “The pin is being made…1….2….3! That’s it folks, this one is over!”
RK: “In brutal fashion too, JR. I thought it would be longer, but JD proved me wrong. That was a fast and strong return made by Judge Death. For that, I think Tommy should be thankful for having him as his partner tonight.”
The bell rings and Judge Death gets his hand raised by the referee. Tommy Capello enters the ring and raises his arms in the air to celebrate his first win in the X-WCW. Judge Death approaches Tommy soon to help raise his hand, the man is hesitant at first, but eventually, both of them raise each other’s arm in victory.
THII: “The winners of this match, JUDGE DEATH AND TOMMY CAPELLO!”
JR: “I can’t believe it, but I guess Tommy Capello indeed needs to thank good ol’ Judge Death for his first victory here in the X-WCW.”
RK: “The next step for the young man is, win matches alone. This is a tag team match, JR, it’s way different than any singles match.”
JR: “Well folks, we will be back for the 4-way elimination match for Sean Byrne’s US title. Stay tuned, more Warzone after the break.”
Warzone hits to commercials as Judge Death and Tommy Capello celebrate their win some more.
Backstage
CR: "Welcome back to Warzone, and I am here backstage with Seith Helloct. On Starrcade: Revolution, we witnessed one of the most brutal matches in recent history. What I am talking about was your match with Big Dog. So I have to ask, how did it feel to go into that sort of match?"
SH: "...How did it feel?...I knew what I was going to do to Big Dog as soon as he stepped foot into the ring...My mind was set as soon as the challenge was made...He dug his own grave, making the match a Texas DEATH Match...I thrive within the Hardcore realm...Any match with the word 'Death' in it, at all, has the same effect to me...As a child watching the grand opening of a new cookie store...It felt amazing. "
CR: "Tonight, you will be in a four-man match involving you and 3 other competitors for the #1 contendership of the United States Title. For you, do you think it's about time that Seith Helloct will get a chance at another title?"
SH: ".....Yes.....It is about time..."
CR: "Finally, what are your thoughts on the current situation of the X-WCW with the Revolution seemingly running things around through the guise of one John Crook?"
SH: "....John Crook....It's practically in his name......I've got news for you, Revolution....As well as you, Crook.......I believe Karl Baller said it best...'Don't let Christopher Back bite...because he's going bite hard.'......If you keep biting other people, Evolu-....Forgive me, and my Freudian slip....If you keep biting other people, Revolution....They will bite back....”
CR: “There you have it, straight out from Seith Helloct himself. Well folks we gotta go back to ringside for the four man elimination match!”
#1 Contendership to the X-WCW U. S. Championship
4 Way Elimination Match
Sandy Drake vs Otacon vs Seith Helloct vs Mark Marlin
We go back to ringside and we hear “Voodoo Child” by Jimmy Hendrix play throughout the arena floor. Seconds later, Malibu Mark Malin graces the ringside area and struts down the rampway.
THII: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a 4-way elimination match to determine the number one contender for the X-WCW United States Championship. Introducing first, MALIBU MARK MARLIN!!!”
Mark Marlin walks down the rampway as we begin to hear the announcers’ voices.
JR: “Welcome back to ringside folks. Right now it is a four way elimination match to determine, the no. 1 contender for the US title. This is James Russell, Randal King, and our special guest commentator, Sean Byrne. Welcome aboard Sean, good to see you here in the broadcast table.”
SB: “Hey, good to be here with you guys as well.”
RK: “I take it you’re here to scout your potential opponents huh Sean?”
SB: “Nothing says scouting more than getting to see how these four potential contenders for my gold go at it in front of ya while you sit back, relax and sit alongside the best X-WCW announce team.”
RK: “Nice try Sean, but you are NOT getting any of my cheetos. These are for my own consumption.”
SB: “Dang. You couldn’t say I didn’t try.”
Marlin enters the ring and continues to pose for the fans. His music fades slowly and we star to hear “Crows” by Lotus play amongst the background. Seith Helloct makes his way towards the ring with a mixed reaction.
THII: “From Pensacola, SEITH HELLOCT!!!”
JR: “This man right here is a former X-WCW Intercontinental Champion. Sean, tough I forgot to ask it earlier, how do you think these two are and their chances of winning against you?”
SB: “For me, I already fought Marlin for the title and I tell ya, he is one tough cookie. But I believe I can win over him again. As for Seith, he seems like a tall task to be honest. I can’t wait to see how I can go against him.”
Seith slides into the ring while the fans continue to give him a mixed but mostly heelish response. He leans over the nearby corner and stares at Marlin while his music fades down. “Top of the world” plays and Sandy Drake comes to a loud ovation by the fans. He makes his way down while he gives a couple of fans some high fives.
THII: “From Vancouver, BC…he is “The Young One” SANDY DRAKE!!!”
RK: “Calling himself young doesn’t help I think. He’s been here longer than you right Sean?”
SB: “I couldn’t say anything about that King. I think we arrived roughly at the same year. But if I were to face THIS guy, oh boy I surely would look forward to that.”
JR: “Sandy Drake, is a former X-WCW TV champ and no doubt he brings excitement in the ring every time he enters it.”
SD slides into the ring while the fans continue to cheer for him. He eventually climbs up the corner and raises both arms in the air to acknowledge his adoring public. He hops down from the corner and looks pumped up while his music fades out. Seconds later, “Superstar” by Saliva blares at the PA systems and the conman makes his way down to the ringside with a mixed response.
THII: “And from Manchester England, the conman…OTACON!!!”
JR: “This man needs no introduction, folks. He is a former X-WCW Champion, US champion, and International Tag Team Champion.“
RK: “He is a decorated man, JR. Sean, wouldn’t it be nice to face this man, a former US champion?”
SB: “With all the belts he has received throughout his career, hell yes! It would be a pleasure and an honor to be going toe to toe with the conman in the future.”
Otacon enters the ring and looks at the other competitors while his music slowly fades into obscurity. With all four men inside the ring, the bell sounds off to start the match.
RK: “The bell is rung, and all four competitors are going at it.”
JR: “On one side we can see Otacon and Seith exchanging some hard fists while on the other, its Marlin and Drake squaring off.”
Otacon backs Seith into the corner and delivers some punishing chops to the chest. However, Seith fights back with some hard kicks to the mid-section of the con man before he grabs him and sends him into the corner instead. With the turning of the tables, Seith starts to hit some shoulder charges on Otacon at the corner of the ring. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Mark Marlin is clubbing away on the back of TYO before he whips him into the ropes. Marlin tries to clothesline TYO, but he slides under him. TYO gets back up behind Mark Marlin and drives him to the mat with an inverted DDT. TYO picks up Mark Marlin and delivers some forearms to the face. The cameras switch to the other side and we see Seith already taking a few steps away from the corner before he runs and tries to deliver a corner splash.
SB: “Seith going for the stinger splash on the corner, guys, he…MISSES! Oh man that is going to hurt him in the morning.”
RK: “Haha, poor Seith.”
Seith is reeling and Otacon catches him with a spear to the mat. With Seith down, Otacon rains down the punches on his face for a few seconds. Otacon waits for Helloct to get to his feet before he scoops him up and slams him down to the mat yet again. On the other side of the ring, we see TYO trying to suplex Marlin, but it’s blocked. Marlin counters it with a snap suplex and waits for TYO to get to his feet before sending him hard on the mat with a clothesline.
SB: “That’s one vicious clothesline if I saw one.”
RK: “Yeah, that must have knocked the taster out of TYO’s mouth.”
Marlin turns around and sees Otacon picking up Helloct. From behind Marlin nails the con man with a stiff blow to the back of the head. Otacon is down on one knee while Marlin goes around him and levels him with a boot to the face. Otacon rolls onto the mat before he is picked up by Marlin. TYO is up and he charges at Mark Marlin. Before he could get to Marlin, Seith catches him with a hiptoss.
JR: “Well guys, it seems to me that they changed dancing partners inside the squared circle.”
RK: “No doubt JR. Let’s see who will get the first elimination here.”
Seith locks on an armbar to keep TYO grounded while we see Marlin backing Otacon into a corner. There, he delivers repeated kicks to the side of the con man before he sets him on the top turnbuckle. Marlin is up on the second rope and tries to grab onto Otacon. However, the con man does not cooperate as he delivers a hard punch to the face of Marlin to keep him away. Another punch dazes Mark Marlin and Otacon grabs him in a front face lock. Otacon is standing on the top rope and launches himself into the air before landing a tornado DDT from the corner.
JR: “Bah gawd! What a move by Otacon.”
SB: “A DDT from the corner, JR, I think Marlin is out of it now.”
With Mark Marlin laid out, Otacon hauls him up to his feet before placing a boot to the gut. After the well placed boot, Otacon finishes him off with the Final Impact.
JR: “FINAL IMPACT ON MARLIN!”
SB: “There goes the pin..1…2…3! We got our first elimination guys, woo!”
Otacon gets off of Mark Marlin and watches the referee trying to revive his opponent. On the other side, we see Seith Helloct picking up TYO and hitting him with a hard knee to the gut. TYO is stunned and is tossed to the outside of the ring.
THII: “Mark Marlin has been eliminated!”
While the referee’s back is turned, we see Seith sneak up and lowblows Otacon from behind. Otacon is spun around by Seith before he is laid out with the evenflow DDT.
JR: “Evenflow by Seith after that lowblow he delivered to the con man.”
SB: “Though it seemed like cheating, it seemed he also out-conned the con man on that exchange.”
RK: “You said it. Otacon has a past of being a sneaky snake as well.”
With Otacon down, the referee turns his attention back to the pin being made by Seith Helloct.
JR: “The cover is made…1…2…3! Damn it, Seith steals this one from Otacon.”
THII: “Otacon has been eliminated!!!”
Otacon is rolled out of the ring and only Seith remains inside the ring, that is until TYO slides back into the ring and both men face off at the center of the ring. The fans are on their feet as soon as both men start to punch each other inside the squared circle.
SB: “Don’t look now fellas but both men are in a heated brawl!”
RK: “Hey, its MY job to look, so don’t you tell me what to do, Byrne!”
SB: “I was..uh..just jokin Randal.”
RK: “I’m on to you!”
Seith eventually hits a punch that knocks TYO off his feet momentarily. Sandy Drake gets back to his feet only to get reeled into a clothesline. TYO ducks down and sneaks behind Seith for a rollup.
JR: “He rolls up Seith for the pin..1..2..and Seith kicks out!”
SB: “Sandy is surely trying to get this match over and done with eh?”
RK: “YOU can say that again.”
SB: “…no I DON’T have to…”
Both men get to their feet and its TYO who takes down Seith with an overhead toss. Seith lands on his feet and charges at TYO. TYO scouts him and sends him down with a quick drop toe hold. TYO floats over to lock in a side headlock. It keeps Seith grounded for a good few seconds before he gets to his feet and starts to deliver some hard elbow strikes to the gut of TYO. TYO lets go and is sent bouncing into the ring ropes. Seith catches him with a kick to the mid-section before he bounces off the ropes and sends TYO to the mat with a running neckbreaker.
SB: “Nicely timed neckbreaker there by Seith, don’t you agree JR?”
JR: “I have to agree with you on that Sean. He executed it with precision.”
RK: “Hey, I agree with it too!”
Seith Helloct gathers TYO to his feet, but TYO surprises his opponent with a hard punch to the gut before he connects with a jawbreaker maneuver. Seith backs away and actually leans on the ring ropes before TYO clotheslines him over it. Seith manages to get his bearings and land on the apron instead of the outside. Helloct rolls back into the ring where TYO is waiting for him. TYO approaches him, only to get a poke in the eye.
RK: “Seith still has a lot of tricks from his bag, huh?”
TYO is momentarily stunned from the poke and is reeled in for a front face lock. Seith looks to be going for his finisher, but it’s blocked by TYO. TYO delivers some hard punches to the side of Helloct for him to let go. Once out, TYO delivers a stiff jab to the face of Seith before he backs up and nails him with the age before beauty superkick.
SB: “The ABB on Seith and both men are down! This is intense rockin action if I do say so myself!”
Drake crawls on top of the fallen Seith and covers him for the pin. The referee sees the pin being made and starts the count.
JR: “The pin is made: One-two-THREE! Sandy Drake got the match won with his kick!”
SB: “Great, I’m going to like this match.”
As TYO’s music hits the speakers, we see his hand being raised by the referee. While TYO heads up the corner inside the ring, he stares at Byrne and points to him. Byrne takes out his headset and raises his US title belt in the air while he stares back at TYO. X-WCW heads to commercials with both men still staring at the other.
Tag Team Grudge Match
Joe Goldstone & Justin Sane vs RA & Nightmare
As we come back from the commercials, the overhead lights start to flicker at high speed, giving everyone such a killer migraine they don’t even notice that Drowning Pool’s ‘Bodies’ has begun to play. Of course, this all changes at the cry of ‘FLOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!’, as the people get to their feet for the straggly-haired youth who comes rolling out from backstage on a skateboard. A skateboard on fire.
TH2: “The following tag-team contest is set for one fall! First, making his way down to the ring...from Davison, Michigan, weighing in at 173 pounds, the current X-WCW Xtreme Champon, JUSTIN SAAAAAAANNNNE!”
Justin continues to roll down the entrance ramp, hollering at the appreciative crowd, before trying for a manual – but he quickly realises that A) his trousers are ablaze, and B) he’s only five metres away from the apron. He quickly shifts his weight forward, but overdoes it; the board’s nose digs into the ground, bringing it to an instant halt. His momentum does not allow him the same luxury, and so the sanity-challenged one is propelled forwards to collide with the edge of the apron nose-first.
JR: “Oh god – “
RK: “HA!”
Justin quickly returns to his feet, and proceeds to wobble into the ring, making groaning noises.
RK: “He’s not dead? I want my money back!”
JR: “But...you’re staff. You don’t pay anything to watch this. Much the opposite, in fact...”
RK: “Then why does that guy at the gates keep asking me for tickets?”
JR: *sblack persons*
RK: “Waitaminute...F***!”
‘Bodies’ fades away, to be replaced by Disturbed’s ‘Down with the Sickness’. Lots of sparkly gold pyro stuff arcs out from the sides of the stage towards the centre, just as a well-built bald man struts out from behind the curtains. He stands amidst the sparks as they shower over him. This all seems terribly familiar...
TH2: “And his partner...from Parts Unknown, weighing 276 pounds...JOE GOOOOOLLLLDSTOOOONNE!”
JR: “For those of you at home who didn’t buy Starrcade Revolution – you filth – Goldstone here lost the Intercontinental Title to Rocky Davis in what he claims was a fluke.”
RK: “Wasn’t. Gang warfare is perfectly legal.”
JR: “True, but – wait, no it isn’t! Anyway, it wasn’t ‘gang warfare’, it looked like blatant interference to me. Lord knows what it looked like to you, Randal...”
RK: “Beverly Hills 90210 repeats.”
JR: “Urgh...”
Goldstone emerges from his spark bath and goes “BLARGH!” a lot at nobody in particular. He also swings his arms over his shoulders like there’s a bunch of angry wasps there or something. This gets a decent reaction from our easy-to-impress crowd. He rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring, sparing his partner barely a glance – but fixating on Justin’s Xtreme Title belt quite obviously. Justin looks down and gets the wrong idea, before having a heated discussion with the ref involving lots of floppy-wrist gestures.
RK: “Be honest, now – you’d much rather have Goldstone as the Xtreme champ, wouldn’t you?”
JR: “No! Justin won it, and if you ask me, he’s another shining example of X-WCW’s progressive approach to rising talent.”
RK: “Progressive nothing. He’s a manky little tool. I’d much rather have that big hunk o’ man-meat with the title.”
JR: “I think you’ll find that came out wrong.”
And speaking of wrong things, we now hear the sweet sounds of Kid Rock delivering ‘Cocky’, and the audience’s mood sours quickly at the sight of the thick-set man who appears from backstage, title belt held high and professional scowl in place.
TH2: “And the opponents...first, from Ellis Island, weighing in at 350 pounds...he is the X-WCW Intercontinental champion...the Real American, ROCKYYYYYYYYYY DAVIS!”
Davis swaggers down to the ring, gazing upon the assembled masses with scorn. He spits at them, but kinda makes a mess of things, so all the drool just dribbles down his chin and stains the lapel of his big, expensive trenchcoat. Ew! Thankfully, our cameras are too poor-quality to communicate this information to the viewers at home, so Rocky can get away with ignoring it.
JR: “You know, it may sound ridiculous to some people, but I preferred this man when he was just a hopeless, bumbling fool. Ever since becoming competent, his attitude has just rubbed me up the wrong way.”
RK: “Hush, fool – we are all now living in THE AGE OF R.A.!”
JR: “Uh, gimmick infringement?”
RK: “If the guy’s injured it doesn’t count.”
JR: “But – “
RK: “DOESN’T COUNT.”
Reaching the ring steps, Rocky wastes no time in tripping over them and face-planting on the floor. Goldstone and Sane admirably keep their faces straight.
RK: “Oh, crud.”
JR: “Y’know, I am so glad that it’s not my job to get that guy over.”
RK: “Why me?”
Davis picks himself up and brushes down his coat, as if nothing happened, before rolling into the ring. Goldstone gets up in his face, only to have Rocky stick his tongue out at him. The ref quickly steps between the two men before anything worse happens, and ‘Go To Sleep’ kicks into gear...
TH2: “And his partner...from Your Living Nightmare, weighing in at 145 pounds...NIGHTMAAAAAARRRRE!”
The ever-intense martial arts wizard, hair dripping with sweat and PURE RAGE, sweeps the curtain aside and hurriedly paces down the ramp, dark eyes fixated on Justin Sane, ignoring the catcalls that greet his appearance.
RK: “Hey – where’s the goth chick?”
JR: “Evidently, miss Bloodstone had better things to be doing tonight.”
RK: “I can think of a few things she should be doing...hur-hur-hur!”
JR: “Stop making weird noises. And it seems like our viewers here tonight have a bone to pick with Nightmare, though it could just be shame by association, what with having to team with Rocky Davis.”
Nightmare rolls in under the bottom rope and quickly adopts a defensive stance against any possible attack...which doesn’t come; Goldstone is still staring down Davis, and Justin isn’t paying attention, instead choosing to scan the crowd for any funny signs. Ref Greene requests for the present champions to remove their belts – no, not their real belts, silly! The title ones! RA almost gets the wrong idea, but Nightmare quickly corrects him. With them handed to the timekeeper, the bell is rung and away we go...to a standing start, since neither team has much knowledge of what we might tentatively call ‘teamwork’. Justin is champing at the bit to get to work, but Joe shouts at him unintelligibly until he hops back onto the apron. Meanwhile, Rocky attempts to outline his very clever divide-&-conquer plan to Nightmare, but Mr. Cage-Fighter goes cross-eyed when the Real American starts pointing things out on a whiteboard with the help of a laser pointer, and so just shoves his partner out of the ring, PowerPoint presentation and all. So, it’s Goldstone and Nightmare to start...
JR: “It’s pure power versus technique...”
RK: “Who’m I supposed to be backing here? One’s bald and boring, the other one’s grungey and boring.”
JR: “Making such tough decisions is the mark of a good announ – takedown by Nightmare!”
Indeed, as Joe stepped forward, Nightmare swept his legs out from under him, before clutching one shin and applying a Heel Hook submission! Goldstone, however, merely feels affronted at being trapped in a girl’s signature hold, and so sits up, grabs a fistful of Nightmare’s hair, and wails all over the poor man’s ugly face. This does a surprisingly effective job of relieving the pressure on Joe’s leg, and he manages to extricate himself from the predicament, returning to his feet and quickly stomping on Nightmare’s chest a few times before dragging him back up. Joe stuns the ‘Mare with a few stiff forearms before whipping him to the ropes – and nailing a sweet Powerslam on the return! He holds on for a cover, 1 – and a quick kickout. Not terribly surprised, Goldstone pulls Nightmare up again, gets him in a front facelock, then lifts him up for a Suplex – and holds Nightmare in position for a good few seconds...
JR: “Look at the strength! Look at the power! Look at – uh-oh!”
Until Nightmare slips out of it, falling behind Joe and landing comfortably in a crouch. Goldstone spins around – and takes a Hook Kick right on the chin! He crashes like a ton of...well, a ton of anything you like, frankly!
JR: “Did you hear the crack from that kick?!”
RK: “Okay, my mind’s made up; I like the grungey one.”
JR: “Starting to appreciate the game you’re supposed to be calling, eh?”
RK: “No, but he keeps cutting you off, and I like it when you don’t speak.”
Joe pushes himself up onto all fours – only for Nightmare to grab his head and sharply drive one knee into his face. Joe reels back, and Nightmare follows with a couple of Wooooo-instigating chops, and then one heckuvah Enziguri, cracking across the back of Goldstone’s skull and laying him flat again! Nightmare makes a cover, 1, 2 – kickout! By this point, Rocky Davis has managed to untangle himself from his projector and is hopping up and down on the apron, desperate for a tag. Or a pee break. Assuming (correctly) that it’s the former he wants, Nightmare drags Goldstone over to his corner by the ankle and tags in the Real American, who does a turbo-Macarena followed by a mighty Hogan-approved Leg Drop. He goes for a pin, but again, Goldstone kicks out at 2. Davis makes a point of disputing this with the ref.
JR: “I don’t see what Rocky has to gain by arguing with Sid Greene; he’s never reversed a decision in his entire career.”
RK: “There’s a first time for everything – and Joe’s shoulders MUST have been down for 3! That was a Hogan Leg Drop! Nobody gets up from that!”
JR: “The Rock?”
RK: “Except him.”
JR: “Ultimate Warrior?”
RK: “Stop with the names – oh, no, look out, you big moron!”
Randal’s warning comes too late as the recovered Goldstone returns to his vertical base and glares, seething, at the back of Davis’ head. Ref Greene repeatedly instructs RA to turn around and continue the match, which, eventually, he does – by getting lifted off his feet by Joe, carried for a yard or two and then planted with a Spinebuster in the centre of the ring!
JR: “OH MY GODLIKE HIGHER BEING! Did you see how effortlessly Goldstone lifted that 350-pounder?!”
RK: “No, I didn’t, so it didn’t happen and RA’s still winning. Right? Right?”
JR: “Wrong.”
Pulling Rocky up by the hair, Joe whips him into his corner with extreme force; Davis ricochets off the post with a muted thud and staggers forward, only to be cut down by a high-flying Lariat from Goldstone, who almost reluctantly tags in Justin Sane. Sane clambers up on top of the turnbuckle as the crowd builds in anticipation, then waits whilst RA waves away the little birds circling his head...gets up...and turns around, to find Justin diving towards him, hooking one arm around Davis’ head, twisting around and FLOORING HIM WITH A BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL TORNADO DDT! Justin quickly covers the prone RA...
1-2-3 – NO! Nightmare runs in and punt-kicks Sane right on the forehead!
JR: “What a despicable act! And what’s with all these Orton references tonight?”
Goldstone enters the ring to help, but is restrained by Sid Greene, who’s just as blind/daft as any other ref ever. Behind his back, Nightmare lifts the stunned Justin up into a Suplex position – and HITS HOME WITH THE GO TO SLEEP! His work done, Nightmare slinks back onto the apron and yells at Rocky Davis to make the pin. Davis obliges, barely, rolling over to drape one arm across Sane’s chest. Somewhat inevitably, ref Greene chooses this exact moment to turn around, and makes the count:
1!
JR: “Not like this - !”
RK: “Shaddap! Any way is fine, boys!”
2!
3 – What? NO! UNBELIEVABLE! SANE GETS A SHOULDER UP!
Nightmare looks aghast! Goldstone breathes a sigh of relief! RA gets annoyed! And Justin...well, he looks slightly concussed, but what else is new?
RK: “You...you...JAMES! You jinxed it!”
JR: “Did not! Justin’s just tough like old boots, is all.”
Seeking a quick end, Rocky yanks Justin back up and slings the madman up across his shoulders, thinking it’s about time for a Death Valley Driver – but alas, no; Sane hooks his feet onto the top rope, preventing Davis from carrying him towards the middle of the ring – and then, with a bit of calculated wiggling, slips down off the Real American’s shoulders and into a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP!
1!
2 – and a kickout!
JR: “Nice try from Justin, but Davis has too much awareness to fall for that sort of maneuver!”
RK: “Oh, yeah, ‘maneuver’...one of my guys tried that, you’d call it cheating, biased gimp...”
Rocky is understandably unhappy about Justin countering one of his favourite moves, and so drops another favourite – the Bionic Elbow – on Sane’s face. As Justin reacts unfavourably to having his nose squashed, RA tags Nightmare back in, and the MMA-aping one stalks the madman as Justin uses the ropes to pull himself up, one hand still covering his face...
RK: “Kill the Jackass reject! KILL!”
JR: “Justin looks out of it...”
Sane finally returns to his feet – only for Nightmare to lock him into the Trapped In Your Dreams! Immediately, Sane’s arms begin to pinwheel frantically, as Nightmare wrenches away ever more fiercely at his neck...
JR: “Trapped In Your Dreams! This one could be over in just a few seconds!”
RK: “Tap, you Metallica-liking, baggy-trouser-wearing fool!”
JR: “Nightmare doesn’t want a tapout, he wants Justin TKO’d!”
Nightmare tries to take Justin down to the mat, but Justin isn’t having any of it; despite his fading, he staggers valiantly towards the ropes...a little more, just a little...and then...he trips.
JR: “Wh – WHOA!”
Trips straight through the ropes, that is, grabbing the top one as he does – but Nightmare, too focused on his hold, doesn’t see it coming and tumbles straight down to the floor! Nevertheless, he rises quickly – only to find Sane’s legs locked across his neck, from which Justin launches a Headscissor Takedown STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR!
JR: “Wouldja look at the athleticism of that – “
RK: “Drugged-up freak...” *mutters darkly*
JR: “Never underestimate the unorthodox tendencies – the insanity – of Justin Sane!
As the ref starts to count, RA hops down off the apron and wanders around to the two barely-moving bodies, ignoring Greene’s protests. With a sneer to the crowd, he pulls Justin up, and puts him in place for a Powerbomb...
JR: “I’m not even sure if I can watch this...”
RK: “You big sissy, you – break ‘im in half!”
But hey, you may be wondering – where’s Joe gone? The answer is ‘nowhere’, for he comes hopping over Nightmare to Clothesline RA down to the ground!
JR: “Thank god!”
RK: “Bah.”
Together, Goldstone and Sane drag their opponents up by the hair and roll them into the ring, before sliding in after them. Nightmare remains down, but Rocky staggers back to his feet, and aims a Haymaker at Joe – but Goldstone ducks it, and gives RA a firm boot to the ribs, just as Sane begins to climb one of the corner posts. Joe hooks in a front facelock, and lifts Rocky up high, leaving him there with one hand, unbelievably...and Sane takes off...AND CONNECTS WITH THE SANITY BREAKER ON NIGHTMARE! JUST AS GOLDSTONE LAYS OUT DAVIS WITH THE JACKHAMMER!
JR: “For the love of – double pin!”
RK: “DAMMIT!”
1 (x2) !
2 (x2) !
3 (x2) ! And there’s the bell!
TH2: “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners – Joe Goldstone and Justin Sane!”
Joe and Justin make a point of rolling Nightmare and RA out of the ring before letting the ref raise their arms. Ref Greene hands Justin back his Xtreme belt, whilst the timekeeper quietly returns the Intercontinental title to the barely-awake Rocky Davis.
JR: “A decisive – “
RK: “Fluke!”
JR: “ – victory for Justin Sane and Joe Goldstone!”
RK: “I’m calling the fluke card!”
JR: “It was a clean pin on both opponents in the middle of the ring!”
RK: “So what? Goldy used the ‘fluke’ excuse, so RA can too.”
JR: “Urgh...speaking of ‘Goldy’, it seems we’re about to hear from him...”
Indeed, Goldstone’s got a mic, and uses it to shout stuff.
JG: “Hey! HEY! Y’hear me, ‘King’ Rocky?”
It’s debatable as to whether or not Rocky can hear anything right now. Regardless, Goldstone continues.
JG: “Well, I hope you remember these next few words good: we’re even now. But that ain’t good enough. So you just watch yourself...’cause sooner or later, I’m gonna stomp you good AGAIN! BLARGH!”
The cameras focus on Joe staring down smugly at the reeling RA. Soon, with JG out of the ringside area, we see Nightmare getting to his feet and staring angrily at the recovering RA as well. With a facial expression that makes it look like he was sick to his stomach, he picks up RA to his reluctance. Eventually, with Rocky Davis on his feet, Nightmare reels him in with a hard knee to the gut.
JR: “Oh my goodness, Nightmare just kneed his own tag team partner!”
RA is on spaghetti legs and Nightmare hauls him up and deliver the Go To Sleep. Rocky Davis is laid out yet again and Nightmare snarls in frustration before his music hits and he heads to the backstage area. Uncharacteristically, the crowd actually cheers for Nightmare after he delivered his patented finisher.
RK: “Whoa. Talk about being pissed off eh JR? Well folks we gotta take a short break. More Warzone after this, yeah.”
X-WCW cuts to commercials while the referee tries to revive the knocked out Rocky Davis.
Backstage
We see Samantha Valiant talking to someone on the phone as she walks down the corridors backstage. All of a sudden, she was halted by something standing in her way. She puts down her cell phone to look at the two men blocking her way which turns out to be Static and Cruel.
Static: “Hey homie, look, it’s dat bitch who was dissin on us a few weeks back.”
Cruel: “Hey lady, mind trying to pull that shit on us again? C’mon, tell us again why we five years behind our time though we still keep it real, ho.”
Samantha has a very unimpressed look on his face and folds her arms on her chest before she replies to the duo.
SV: “You know boys, I’ve said what I have said. You guys seem to be out of the times already. Really, who cares about rappers trying to pop some sucka or whatever the hell you call it outside the ring? They care about rappers who have sex appeal these days. Heck, even old gangsters…or GANG-STA’S like Ice Cube started to make some family friendly movies to get with the times. So if I was either both of you and I want to be marketable here in the X-WCW, I’d get with the damn program already and ditch the whole rapper gimmick. I mean, we have enough Karl Ballers inside the company already.”
Static: “Yo. We keep it real to how we are, we don’t bow down and kiss up to corporate high horses like you. We don’t care if we marketable…we care about kicking some..”
SV: “Yeah, I guess you don’t care to be marketable at all. Do you care about being taken seriously? Then start heading back to grammar school and learn how to pronounce simple words correctly. I’ve wasted enough time here gentlemen, and you know that. Talk to me again if you boys won’t lose to a skinny turd like that ok? Now if you’ll excuse me…”
She passes through both of them while she pulls up her cell phone to make a phone call. The two men shake their heads.
Static: “Bitch, please…”
X-WCW World Championship
Tony Bonito (c) vs. Cane Deathscream
THII: “This next match is for the X-WCW Championship!!!”
JR: “Welcome back to the 35th episode of X-WCW WARZONE!!!”
RK: “Man, what a way to celebrate the 35th show, JR. We won’t be seeing just one match for the X-WCW Championship, we will be seeing TWO for the night!”
JR: “That is true, King. In an unprecedented move by the X-WCW BoD, alongside the consent of the champ himself, Tony Bonito will be in two different title matches for the same belt.”
“Deadly game” starts to play in the ringside speakers and Cane Deathscream enters through the curtains.
THII: “Introducing the challenger, from parts unknown…CANE DEATHSCREAM!!!”
The fans give him a mostly positive reaction as he makes his way down the rampway.
JR: “Cane Deathscream, the imposing presence of the nTo, is making his way down the ring.”
RK: “Ever since Chris Back and D-Extreme were out, the man held the reigns of the nTo, and have led them through times of obscurity. I do agree with Tony’s thoughts about the nTo. While Cane is leading them, they have done nothing but loose to the Revolution. Tonight, this man has a lot to prove. Winning this match would be a big step for the nTo and Cane to get the advantage over Bonito and the Revolution. He knows how high the stakes are worth in this match.”
Cane enters the ring and goes to one corner of the ring. We see the big man eyeing the stage and waits for his opponent to come out. Guitar riffs of “Fury of the storm” by shadows fall plays before we see a figure emerging from the curtains. Tony Bonito comes out with two belts slung on both of his shoulders as he casts his head down.
THII: “And his opponent, from Boston Massachusetts, he is the X-WCW Champion and holder of the Tony Bonito world heavyweight championship, TONY BONITO!!!”
The fans boo loudly as Bonito points up to the sky and initiate the red, white, and blue pyros shooting up into the air. Afterwards, he makes his way down the ramp to the “Nito Sucks” chant from the audience.
JR: “Tony Bonito is the current X-WCW Champion and also the holder of his OWN heavyweight championship. How self-centered can one man get, King?”
RK: “I don’t know about that JR. I mean it took him YEARS just to get that title on his waist. I think the Tony Bonito Championship is a way for him to celebrate his win last Starrcade: Revolution. For a man as decorated and talented as Bonito, I tell you that he does deserve it. He might have done terrible things like injure D-Ex and Poor Mr. Back, but I don’t think he is such a bad guy apart from that.”
JR: “Oh yeah, I do agree, King. I mean, he’s not a bad guy because he used a weed whacker on Chris Back to take him out. He brutally assaulted D-Extreme’s leg to put him out for almost 2 years. Hell, he even got to the ear of one John Crook to lead the Revolution, not a bad guy at all…”
RK: “Now you’re just being sarcastic.”
Bonito gets into the ring and climbs up the ropes. There, he lifts both of his titles into the air and lets out a savage roar directed to the audience. The fans continue to chant and boo Tony Bonito as he stays on the top turnbuckle. Eventually, as his music dies down, he climbs down to the ringside area to surrender both of his belts to the ring official.
JR: “These men have never met in a one on one situation, King.”
RK: “Well it’s time to see who will get the upperhand, JR. Will it be Cane, a former X-WCW Champion in his own merit with his strength and size? Will it be Tony Bonito, who is the current champ and so far can go hold for hold with almost ANYONE inside the squared circle?”
JR: “Time to find out!”
The bell rings to signal the commencement of the match. Both men go into the center of the ring and lock up. A couple of seconds go on and both men struggle to get the advantage. Eventually, Cane uses his strength to send Bonito into the corner while they are in the collar elbow tie-up. He breaks up the hold and delivers some chops to the chest of the champion. Bonito fights back with some chops of his own and leaves the corner. Cane catches a fist of Bonito and uses his free hand to deliver a thrusting blow towards the throat of Bonito. Bonito falls down but he gathers himself up, only to be taken down yet again with a throat thrust. Cane lifts him up to his feet and sets him up for a sidewalk slam. However, Bonito hits some chops and an elbow strike to the gut to make him let go. He goes behind Cane Deathscream and takes him down Greco-roman style.
JR: “He takes down his opponent with the waist-lock takeover and would you look at that King..ugh.”
RK: “Haha! He’s slapping Cane around his head!”
Bonito gets up with a vicious smirk across his lips and waits for Cane to get to his feet. As Cane slowly gets up, he is cut mid-way with a running knee strike across his face. The fans boo as Bonito laughs while Cane falls to the mat yet again. Cane slowly gets to his feet and Bonito tries to charge at him. He gets caught with a boot to the face and he falls down. Cane Deathscream waits for TB to recover before he catches him with a boot to the mid-section and delivers a bodyslam for a follow-up move.
JR: “Cane Deathscream throws Bonito to the mat with that body slam. He goes over Bonito and starts to unload some boots on him as he gets up.”
RK: “Deathscream is using his strength and power to get the advantage and with good reason. If he tries to even attempt a submission move or try to grapple Bonito this early on, it’ll bring forth dire consequences.”
Bonito is up and Deathscream knees him to the gut before he bounces off the ropes for a clothesline. Bonito ducks the clothesline and grabs Deathscream from behind. Before Cane knew it, he is sent into the air with a belly to back suplex. Both men get up and Deathscream charges at Bonito again. TB scouts him and takes him down with a single leg takedown before he goes over to his arm for an armbar. TB quickly floats over and tries to apply the ankle lock, but Cane Deathscream kicks him out of the way.
RK: “Oh boy, did you see that JR? Bonito is tempted to slap that submission move early into this match.”
JR: “True, King. Bonito was that close to getting the submission move locked in on the ankle of one Cane Deathscream.”
Bonito charges at the recovering Cane Deathscream to deliver a couple of clubbing blows to the back and some chops to the chest. He tries to send CD into the ropes, but the whip is reversed. Cane takes down the returning TB with a shoulder block before he bounces off the ropes to take him down again with the same move. Cane Deathscream tries to pick up Bonito, only to be tripped by using the legs to take him down. Tony Bonito has Cane held up by the legs and delivers some kicks to the leg area of Cane before he lets go.
RK: “He is starting to target those long legs of his opponent, JR. I fear that this is the beginning of the end if Cane won’t counteract soon.”
JR: “If you let your opponent work on one part of your body, King, that is dangerous.”
Cane slowly gets to his feet, but Bonito is there to take him down yet again after he delivers a sweeping kick at the back of Cane’s right leg. Cane falls down the mat and favors his right leg that Bonito grabs and puts in a leg lock. Cane struggles to get out of the hold that Bonito eventually releases after a few seconds. Bonito waits for Cane Deathscream to get up and he tries to grab a hold of the same leg again, Cane delivers a punishing elbow strike to the face of Bonito that sends the champion staggering backwards. Cane Deathscream reels Bonito in and sends him violently down to the mat with a clothesline.
JR: “BAH GAWD! That clothesline turned the champ inside out!”
Tony Bonito slowly gets himself up, only to be hit by a hard throat thrust by Cane. He falls down to the mat yet again before he is collected to his feet by his opponent. Cane grabs Bonito and slams him to the canvas with a sidewalk slam. He hooks the leg for the pinfall.
JR: “Here is the pin…1….2…and Bonito gets a shoulder up.”
Cane Deathscream gets up first and seems to be favoring his right leg. He waits for Tony Bonito to get to his feet before he approaches the champion. He kicks him hard on the chest cavity before he pulls him near and sets up for a powerbomb. However, before he could lift Bonito, TB delivers some hard punches to the side of Cane’s right leg. Eventually he back body drops Cane to the mat before he goes over and stomps down on the targeted leg.
RK: “That leg doesn’t seem to hold out much longer, JR.”
JR: “Cane tried to deliver the rising cane on Bonito, but he just didn’t have the strength right now. TB is surely targeting the right leg of his challenger.”
He grabs onto the leg yet again and this time wraps it in a figure four leg lock. Seconds later, we could see Cane Deatshcream shouting in pain as Bonito puts the pressure on the right leg. The referee approaches them to ask the challenger if he is going to quit. Violently, Cane shakes his head to signal that he is not going to submit for now and inches towards the nearby ropes to break the hold. Tony Bonito holds onto the move until the referee counts to 4. Fearing the DQ call, he lets go before the 5th count and gets to his feet. The X-WCW champion heads up to the turnbuckle and stands on the top turnbuckle. However, before he could launch himself off, Cane hits him and he gets crotched on the corner while Cane heads to the second rope and superplexes TB out of the corner.
JR: “Bonito was looking for a high risk maneuver there, but he got cut off by Cane.”
RK: “Totally changed the momentum and pace of this match, JR. The question now is, to who’s favor exactly?”
Both men slowly get to their feet and Bonito delivers a couple of kicks to the right leg of Cane. TB tries to send Cane somewhere, but Cane reels him in and violently hits a knee to the champion’s gut. With TB stunned, Cane attempts to whip him into the corner, but it is reversed. Deathscream hits the corner instead and Tony Bonito charges at him for a corner splash. Deathscream gets out of the way and TB eats the turnbuckle. Cane peels TB off of the turnbuckle with a neckbreaker. Bonito is down while Deathscream hobbles towards him to pick him up. However, as soon as Deathscream grabs Bonito, he is rolled into a pinning predicament.
RK: “He has him in a pin..1….2…and NO! Cane kicked out!”
Bonito waits for Cane to get up before he charges at him. Cane attempts a big boot, but Tony Bonito avoids it and grabs the man from behind. Without warning, Tony Bonito slams Cane to the mat with the nitoplex.
JR: “NITOPLEX!!! BAH GAWD!!!”
With Cane Deathscream down on the mat, Bonito pulls down both straps and unleashes a primal roar to the behest of the crowd. He goes over Cane’s leg and applies the ankle lock. Cane struggles to fight the pain of the hold and shakes his head once the referee asks him if he does want to call it quits. Tony Bonito tightens the hold and goes so far to do a leg scissor on the leg he is applying the submission hold on. Seconds later, Cane folds in and taps his hand on the mat to signal defeat.
RK: “Cane taps and Bonito wins this one!”
At the signal of the referee, the bell rings and Tony Bonito slowly releases the hold as he hears his music being played around the ringside area. He gets up to his feet and retrieves the two belts that he raises in the air in victory.
JR: “He has done it tonight, King. He successfully defended the title, but he is not out of the crossfire yet. Still to come tonight folks, Tony Bonito will defend the same set of titles against Karl Baller. Stay tuned folks, more Warzone after these messages!”
Warzone heads to commercials as Bonito celebrates in the ring.
X-WCW World Tag Team Championship
3-Way Tag Team Ladder Match
The Final Frontier (c) vs StarStorm vs RNR
TH2: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall – and it is for the X-WCW World Tag Team Championship!”
Filmstar, proppin up the bar, something with an ‘ar’,
I don’t know the words to this flippin’ song...
(Note: How come nobody else’s lyrics HAVE to be put in with their entrances, eh? Favouritism!)
...Anyway! Apropos of nothing, a crowd of shrieking, OK!-magazine-reading females suddenly swamp the stage, heralding the arrival of two of the baddest men in town. Yup, they’re even badder than LeRoy Brown. Whoever that was. And they are...
TH2: “First, making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 475 pounds...from Huntington Beach, California, ‘The Playboy’ Brett Rayne...from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, ‘the Revolution in Evolution’ R.E. Rage...they are R-N-R!”
RK: “I feel Terri could have announced them with greater...enthusiasm.”
JR: “Well, for some extraordinary reason that I just can’t fathom, it seems your favourite tandem have yet to impress our dear announcer.”
RK: “They’re not my favourite – wait...Powerbomb were disbanded...and they were fat as hell before then...”
JR: “You see?”
RK: “...Seriously, why the HELL did I ever care about Powerbomb?!”
Rage and Rayne make a grand show of posing and posturing on their way down the entrance ramp, making all the girls mock-swoon (they’re plants, obviously) before hopping up onto the apron and unzipping their custom hoodies, revealing...title belts?
JR: “But...But Final Frontier won the tag titles back!”
RK: “Ha! I KNEW it was all just a nightmare!”
JR: “Wait...oh, for the love of...those aren’t the tag titles.”
Indeed, Rage and Rayne’s belts are brand new designs, with the X-WCW logos replaced by words like ‘SEXY’ and ‘DAMN!’. The two men throw their arms up as thousands of cherry-blossom petals fall down from the rafters to blanket the audience. Don’t get it? Well, it’s...y’know...cherries. Losing them. Think about it...aaaaand you’re there. With that done, they step into the ring, and Brett snatches Terri’s mic from her.
BR: “So...heh. You like what you see, folks? I mean, I think anyone with eyes and breasts can see, without a shadow of a doubt, that we make gold work better than any pair of geeks could ever manage!”
Boo, hiss.
BR: “Just so Jimmy and Randy – “
JR: “HEY!”
BR: “ – know what they’re commentating on – and so li’l Terri Horse-teeth over here knows how to announce us next time – here you go; you’ve seen the boring old TV champion already...but now, RNR are officially the Too Hot For TV champions!”
With that wave of smugness, Brett hands the mic to R.E.
RR: “And at the risk of copyright infringement, if you ain’t down with that, we got two words for ya!”
Rage points to the crotch of his tights, upon which is written...something we shouldn’t say aloud on public TV. It’s about naughty stuff. Rage also does a pelvic thrust, just for emphasis.
JR: “That is...uncalled for on so many different levels.”
RK: “Jealous much, loser?”
Finally, Terri gets her mic back, as ‘Enemy’ by Fozzy begins to play. Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t improve the mood of the audience much.
TH2: “And their opponents; first, at an unknown combined weight, from Parts Unknown...Raven Darkstorm and Alec Lightstar, Starstorm!”
RK: “Y’know...They may have gotten rid of Powerbomb, but...”
JR: “But they’re not nTo?”
RK: “Worse – they’re goths.”
Raven and Alec stride out from backstage to little fanfare, manky hair dripping with primordial ooze and iron pipes gripped tightly in their fists. They share no words or glances as they stride to the ring, and this silence only serves to demonstrate the depth of their bond. Either that or they’re mute. As they slide under the ropes, they nod almost imperceptibly to RNR, who give very exaggerated winks back, thusly making their intentions clear to everyone.
JR: “Well, I’d hoped that the lure of the gold would stop these two tandems from ganging up on their opponents, but...I’ve been wrong before.”
RK: “Funny how you never admit to it, though...”
Two down, one to go! Endeverafter’s ‘No More Words’ begins to play, and...
TH2: “And at a combined weight of 455 pounds...they are the X-WCW World Tag Team champions...”
MASSIVE F***ING POP FTW!
TH2: “From Melbourne, Florida, Autobot Jazz...from Seattle, Washington, SciFiMan...”
Two figures appear on the stage, backlit so they look to be silhouettes...
TH2: “They are the FINAAAALLL FRON-TIIIIEEEEERRR!”
And there they are, Jazz’ t-shirt emblem glowing crimson, SciFiMan’s cape billowing in some mysterious indoor wind. The tag belts – the REAL tag belts, I hasten to add – gleam with reflective gold brilliance at their waists. With a salute to the fans, they rush the ring, never thinking once of the possibly overwhelming odds, not even upon stepping into the ring and instantly coming under attack from StarStorm, who swing their pipes with wild abandon – and very little accuracy, as AJ and SFM duck the swings, spin around and kick both halves of StarStorm in the gut, before grabbing them by the scruff of their necks and tossing them over the top ropes! Belatedly, the bell rings, as Jazz and SciFi turn to square up to RNR. Rage and Rayne, funnily enough, aren’t looking quite so confident now.
JR: “Now we’ll see how those posers handle the greatest tag champs in X-WCW history! And will someone please get those ridiculous belts off them?”
RK: “No way! They’re sexy!”
JR: “Do you even hear yourself talking, man?!”
With a startling show of nearly-genuine courage, RNR dash forwards to meet their foes head-on – and promptly get punched in the face, much to the crowd’s amusement.
RK: “NO! Not the faces!”
AJ and SFM send Rage and Rayne staggering backwards, then look to bounce off the ropes for some clothesline momentum – but alas, Raven and Alec grab at their ankles from the outside. A quick pair of kicks through the ropes sees to them, but as the Final Frontier turn back to their prey, Rage and Rayne nail them both with the Too Hot For TV (let’s just say THTV from now on, ‘kay?) belts!
JR: “Despicable use of those fake belts!”
RK: “They’re stylish AND practical!”
To nobody’s surprise, Brett and R.E. look much more chipper all of a sudden, as they kick AJ and SFM out of the ring, then step out themselves, instantly going to look for something interesting under the ring whilst StarStorm help themselves to a ladder. Jazz barely staggers to his feet before Raven and Alec rush him, catching him in the gut with the edge of the ladder! AJ doubles over – and regrets it, as the ladder is then smacked straight across his spine! Jazz’ cry of pain is awful enough to extract winces even from the battle-hardened mob of sickos that attend our shows. Meanwhile, SciFi recovers, and charges Rage, who only gets the time to blink in surprise before finding SFM perched on his shoulders; but before the Hurricanrana can be pulled off, Brett cracks a Singapore cane off the back of SFM’s skull, and the reeling hero is then Powerbombed straight down to the concrete with a terrible THUD!
JR: “Oh my sweet aunt Petunia! The Final Frontier could be out of this contest already!”
RK: “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
Rage and Rayne laugh at their handiwork, before grabbing another ladder positioned at ringside and sliding it into the ring. Meanwhile, StarStorm double-Hiptoss AJ onto their ladder with a horriying CRACK, before Alec kneels down and grabs Jazz around the throat for Raven to deliver further kickings. These kickings do not come, however, as Raven nudges his brother before gesturing broadly to the ring, where Rage and Rayne are setting up their ladder beneath the hanging belts (which somehow magicked off the waists of Jazz and SciFi a couple minutes ago when you weren’t paying attention).
JR: “Oh-ho, it looks like ‘the plan’ didn’t include that particular detail...”
RK: “Eh...it’s not like the geeks are gonna make a difference now, anyway.”
So, whilst Alec decides to wail on AJ’s head all by himself, Raven slides into the ring, and pulls Rage off the ladder’s second rung before getting into a shouting match. Rage’s body language just screams ‘whatever’ as he shoves Raven away – and Brett Rayne’s body language is pure ‘sucker!’ as he cracks Raven’s jaw with the Playboy Pose Superkick! Raven falls like a brick as Rage and Rayne have a jolly old laugh. All this serves to distract Alec Lightstar, however, who makes the mistake of looking away from Autobot Jazz – only for AJ to twist around and catch Lightstar with a snappy kick to the head!
JR: “StarStorm aren’t having much luck with other peoples’ boots tonight...”
RK: “Faces that ugly were made to be kicked.”
Brett indicates that AJ is getting up, and R.E. takes a brief run-up before launching into a Baseball Slide – which misses as Jazz nips to the side! The TF geek qucikly grabs a fistful of Rage’s hair and repeatedly slams the arrogant buffoon’s head off the edge of the apron, nose-first. AJ next sees Rayne clambering up the ladder, but his attempt to stop the Playboy backfires when Alec Lightstar pulls him back off the apron, AJ’s back colliding with the safety railing on the way down! Brett keeps climbing...climbing...
RK: “Yes! YES! Double champions a-go-go!”
JR: “Or...”
But there’s SciFiMan, springboarding off the ropes into a Dropkick which hits the side of the ladder! It leans, leans aaaannnd falls – but Brett hops off in the nick of ti – nope, wait, he got the top rope between his legs. Oof.
RK: “Right in the Nirvana Suppliers!”
JR: “That was – Nirvana WHAT?”
SciFi picks up the ladder, but is forced to drop it after a recovered Raven Darkstorm nails him with one of those damn iron pipes mentioned earlier. Outside the ring, Alec Lightstar roughly shoves both R.E. Rage and Autobot Jazz over the railings and into the crowd, before heading back to the ring, reaching under it to remove...A TABLE!
JR: “Oh look, a picnic table!”
RK: “...Pardon?”
JR: *hums* “I am one with the Spirit of the Great Adamle...”
RK: “ARGH!”
Alec tosses the table at both AJ and R.E., successfully hitting both men with it. Raven, on the other hand, sticks the nearest ladder over his head and braces it against his shoulders, then spins helicopter-style, bringing pain to the brain-cases of both SciFi and Brett Rayne!
JR: “Both halves of DarkStorm are experienced in the hardcore ways of, um, the ECW...”
RK: “The ECW? Even I know that’s wrong! Snap out of it, man!”
JR: “And there’s a Snapping Mare!”
RK: “This is gonna be a long match...”
Indeed, Alec Lightstar just used a Snapmare to lay R.E. across that table of his, before giving AJ the same treatment; the table, somehow, doesn’t break under the strain. Back in the ring, all that spinning has worn out Raven, and he shrugs off the ladder, staggers a bit, then falls over. Meanwhile, Alec has set up the other ladder...outside the ring.
JR: “That’s no way to win a match! He might hurt someone!”
RK: “’Might’?”
The crowd steadily rumbles into life as Lightstar climbs the ladder...climbs, climbs, climbs some more, until he’s perched atop the thing, staring down towards the prone forms of Autobot Jazz and R.E. Rage. He takes a deep breath...
And leaps.
RK: “JESUS ****ING CUPCAKES!”
JR: “He must be at least five feet in the air!”
Alec spins backwards, falls – and NAILS THE SUPER NOVA THROUGH BOTH MEN AND THE TABLE FOR GOOD MEASURE! The crowd do their best “Holy ****” chant, as Raven Darkstorm stares across at the mass of splintered wood and crumpled bodies that his brother is a part of, shocked...and you know what else is shocking? Being hit in the back by the top of a ladder. Which is exactly what happens to Raven, courtesy of Brett Rayne, whose legs still aren’t totally uncrossed just yet. As Raven tumbles out of the ring, Brett sets the ladder up under the dangling belts and starts to climb – slowly, thanks to the aforementioned sore balls.
JR: “Rain could win here – “
RK: “Yeah! Go, uh, Rain!”
JR: “But here comes StarTrekMan!”
Indeed, SciFiMan is up, and starts to climb the ladder on the opposite side! Both Rayne and SFM gradually make their way up, and then, at the top, punching begins. Right! Left! Right! Le – oh wait, nobody throws left-handed punches in wrestling, do they? So it’s just lots of Right. After a few even exchanges, SciFi begins to get the upper hand, probably because he’s got superhuman strength and stuff – but Brett retaliates with a poke to the eye and OMG FLASH FLOOD OFF THE LADDER!
JR: “Flash Food by Bret Rain!”
RK: “No, James, a Flash FLOOD by Brett – double T – Rayne-with-a-Y. God, play-by-play’s hard work...”
Both Rayne and SciFi squirm and roll out of the ring after that spine-rattling impact, leaving the arena in near-silence for several moments...before the audience starts to murmur in disappointment, as the first bodies to stir and recuperate are those of Alec Lightstar and Raven Darkstorm.
JR: “DeathStar are the team to seize the seizable...opportunity for the win.”
RK: “Head asplode!”
Raven rolls into the ring, as Alec decides to slide the second ladder in just for good measure. Maybe they’re gonna stick both ladders together or something. Oh, wait...nope, they’re just lining both up beneath the belts, before both men head on up.
RK: “That’s, like, totally unnecessary – “
JR: “They’re showing the depth of a puddle. I mean, depth of feeling. For each other.”
RK: “If that had made sense, I’m sure I could’ve come up with a good joke about it.”
Alec and Raven look unstoppable...until Rage, AJ, SFM and Rayne all nearly simultaneously re-enter the ring and make a point of stopping them. This is accomplished when AJ and Rage grab hold of Alec’s legs and double-Powerbomb him CLEAR OVER THE ROPES, whilst Brett smacks one of the THTV belts across Raven’s lower back, before SciFi hops up off the second rope, grabs Raven’s head and delivers one nasty Neckbreaker! StarStorm look totally out of it as the worn-out forms of both RNR and the Final Frontier get their hands on the bottom few rungs and start to climb – Autobot Jazz and R.E. Rage on one ladder, SciFiMan and Brett Rayne sharing the other!
JR: “It’s tense like butter melting!”
RK: “You’ve gone from poor grammar to plain incoherence. How much worse can it get?”
JR: “Nut plan monkey!”
They move so staggeringly slowly you’d swear they didn’t actually want to reach the top – but reach it they do. Rage reaches for the belts, but Jazz catches him with a few stiff forearm shots; SciFi makes a grab, but Brett slams the hero’s skull onto the top of the ladder; R.E. rakes AJ’s eyes, then grabs the Transfan’s head in a front facelock, whilst Rayne hits SFM with that ridiculous THTV belt again! SciFi falls...
JR: “CARBON FIBRE CAMSHAFTS!”
RK: “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS! AND WHOA!”
But SciFi keeps ahold of the ladder with one hand, and swings his knee up – NAILING BRETT WITH THE PHOTON TORPEDO! And AJ rocks Rage with some elbow strikes – then lifts him onto his shoulders and drops him forward, USING THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO COMPLETE THE STASIS LOCK! Rayne and Rage fall in slow motion, and the Final Frontier...get the belts! Ring that funky bell!
TH2: “Here are your winners, and STILL the X-WCW World Tag Team Champions...THE FINALLLLL FRONTIERRRRR!”
JR: “A winner is you!”
RK: “Right, that’s it, I’ve heard enough...”
Randal stands up, grabs his chair, and smacks James in the face with it. The play-by-play guy no-sells it in a fashion that would impress Mark Henry.
RK: “Jimmy?”
JR: “Uwagh...better now. And don’t call me Jimmy.”
Autobot Jazz and SciFiMan man-hug atop the ladders, whilst thousands of fans scream their names and make gestures of praise
RK: “Yeah, yeah, the geeks won, good for ‘em, but let’s not forget that RNR are STILL the Too Hot For TV Champions!”
JR: “I have a horrible suspicion that they – and you, Randal – will not let anyone forget that fact for quite some time. But right now, the message is clear; no other team in X-WCW can touch the Final Frontier. And with that, folks, it’s time for another commerce-WHAT THE?!”
Just then, we see The Renegade, Powermaster Prime, and Bombshell running down the ramp. They wait for AJ and SFM to get down from the ladders before the three pounce on them. For Starstorm, Rage and Rayne wait for them to get to their feet before blasting AL and RD with their respective THFTV Belts.”
RK: “Talk about ‘too hot for tv’ title smashes on the bases of both Starstorm members’ skull, huh JR?”
RNR and the rest of the Revolution have the upper hand in this supposed 4-on-5 beatdown that is until the rest of the nTo storm down to ringside. The Revolution members flee the ring as soon as the nTo hits it.
JR: “Look at those dastardly revolution members, walking back up the ramp like cowards.”
RK: “Cowards? They did what they had to do, JR, and that was to leave a statement.”
While the Revolution members walk up the ramp, we see John Crook appear behind them via the X-Tron.
JC: “Nice try, nTo, but you losers should know that it’s only through trying to chase us out in the ring where you can be good at. However, let me remind you guys one thing, the Revolution has the gold and ALL the power in the X-WCW. While the nTo has...NOTHING!”
Crook laughs like a madman as he is still shown on the X-Tron while we see RNR hold their THFTV Titles up in the air once they and the rest of the Revolution are at the stage area. Inside the ring, we see a recovering foursome of Starstorm and Final Frontier. In the middle of the ring stands an angered Cane Deathscream, who is gritting his teeth in contempt.
JR: “You could tell, the nTo and Cane Deathscream are not taking Crook’s comments very lightly.”
RK: “Yeah, I bet he’s about to cry and head back to mommy deathscream any minute now.”
JR: “Ugh, whatever king. Folks, stay tune, more Warzone right after this.”
X-WCW goes to commercials while we see a disheartened nTo leave the ringside area after the Revolution did so seconds ago.
X-WCW World Championship Match
Tony Bonito © vs Karl Baller
X-WCW comes back from the commercials to see the ringside area anticipating for tonight’s main event.
THII: “This next match is for the X-WCW Championship and it’s scheduled for one fall!”
JR: “Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen for tonight’s main event.”
RK: “It’s another title defense for Tony Bonito, JR. Right now I don’t feel so confident of his chances defending his title twice in one night. But this is the X-WCW, and anything could happen here as we know.”
“Hate it or luv” plays and Karl Baller comes out to the delight of the fans.
THII: “Introducing first, the challenger. He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania , KARL BALLER!!!”
KB starts to make his way down the aisle, but all of a sudden we see Tony Bonito coming out of the backstage area and running towards KB. From behind, he attacks KB and sends the man down while he stomps down on his opponent.
JR: “What in the world is going on here?”
RK: “Tony Bonito using his smarts, JR, that’s what!”
KB gets up to his feet and fights back with fists of his own. Both men fight their way up the ramp as the fans cheer. Bonito blocks a punch and head butts KB. With KB dazed, he grabs Baller and drags him near the stage. He has Baller by the head and tries to drive him face-first onto the wall of the stage. KB blocks it and delivers some hard elbow shots to the face of TB to make him let go. TB releases his hold and KB delivers a hard knee to the side of Bonito before he grabs Bonito by the head and drags him into the backstage area.
JR: “Seems like TB and KB are gonna go at it backstage!”
RK: “Good! Now send in some camera crews there so we can actually see the carnage going on in there.”
The WARtron flashes on and we see footage of the backstage corridors where TB and KB are beating each other up with clubs and punches. Karl Baller scouts a punch from TB and avoids it before he grabs Bonito by the arm and sends him crashing towards the pile of steel pipes. TB falls to the ground while a couple of the iron pipes fall over him. Karl Baller starts to stomp down on the champion while he is on the heap.
RK: “Baller is lucky, JR, the bell hasn’t rung yet to start the match officially.”
JR: “Regardless of the match starting or not, he does seem a bit furious of Bonito trying to sneak in from behind to get an advantage. In my view, Bonito brought this up for himself. Had he done the right thing and did not ambush Baller, they would have been in the ring and fighting properly.”
RK: “No doubt, JR. The unconventional style of fighting is something of KB’s advantage on Bonito.”
Bonito is pulled up by KB, but the champ delivers some hard shots to the abdomen area of KB. Karl Baller is shoved out of the way by Bonito. Bonito charges at Karl and violently sends him back-first on the wall. KB slumps on the wall while Bonito delivers some vicious kicks to the chest and upper body portion of the former X-WCW Champion. Tony Bonito backs up and tries to deliver a running knee strike, only to have KB roll out of the way. TB stops himself from hitting the wall with his knee and turns around. It was too late as Karl Baller is up and delivers a hard clothesline that sends the champion down momentarily.
JR: “Vicious clothesline by Karl Baller!”
KB picks up Tony Bonito and they go through the nearby door. The room they enter is revealed to be a room wherein a couple of X-WCW stage hands are seen eating on a couple of tables that are set up inside. These stage hands leave their chairs in shock as the two wrestlers intrude their privacy of eating. KB grabs Bonito by the head and slams him face first into a plate full of food. When he lifts Bonito’s head up, pieces of pasta falls over the champ’s face before Baller tries again. TB uses his hands and places them on the table to stop the move. TB grabs a plate nearby and tosses it right across the face of Karl Baller. Baller is temporarily blinded by the food attack and it gives ample time for Bonito to deliver a hard knee towards KB’s gut. Bonito holds onto KB’s head before he slams it a couple of times on the wooden table. He drags KB towards the doorway and sends him rolling to the corridors once more.
RK: “I guess both men just finished eating their pre-match meals, JR.”
Bonito halts mid-way and smears off parcels of food that remain on his face. He leaves the dining area and approaches a recovering Karl Baller. Bonito tries to grab KB, but Karl lights him up with some hard chops to the chest. KB reels TB in for a clothesline and the champ goes down. Karl picks up Tony Bonito, only to receive a thumb across his eye. TB backs away from KB and appears to be heading back to ringside.
JR: “Oh would you look at that King? The champ is heading back here, I wonder why? Took enough beating from KB?”
Baller catches up to Bonito and both come to blows as they pass the curtains. They return to ringside with a loud ovation from the crowd but it seems they are too busy fighting each other out.
JR: “Their out of ring activity might be over from this point, King. Both men are brawling their way into the ring!”
RK: “With such fighting spirit too, JR! These two really hate each other.”
Both men are now a couple of feet outside of the ring and continue to trade punches, clubs to the back and even forearms to the face of the other while the fans are still cheering. At one point, Bonito delivers a kick to the mid-section of Baller and grabs him on the back of the head before rolling him into the ring. Bonito slides into the ring and the referee signals for the bell to be rung.
JR: “The bell has sounded and the match has officially kicked off!”
RK: “We saw the out of ring altercation between these two, now it’s time to see how they would settle their issue in the ring.”
Bonito waits for KB to get to his feet to deliver a clothesline. Karl Baller avoids the said clothesline by ducking down and capturing Bonito by the waist. TB is quick to respond with a lightning quick standing switch before he locks on KB’s waist. Bonito, with Baller at his grasps, takes him down to the mat. As soon as KB is on the mat, however, he wriggles about and quickly goes over Bonito to apply a headlock. Both men get to their feet and TB slowly gets out of the headlock and converts it with an armbar to KB. KB slowly, but surely, converts the armbar into one of his own. Tony Bonito lets out a grunt before he uses his free hand to deliver some knife-edge chops to the chest of KB. KB lets go of the hold and is whipped towards the corner.
RK: “Surprising exchange of holds by both men, JR. I know Bonito could do it, but KB?”
JR: “I think you’re selling Karl Baller short, King. He is a proven man here in the X-WCW. He knows how to hang with the big guys such as Tony Bonito, hence why he was the former champ.”
RK: “Well, as KB is hitting the corner, I wonder why TB is taking his time.”
As if he anticipated it already, Bonito captures KB on his shoulder as the man floats over the corner. TB turns around and slams KB to the mat with a running powerslam. KB winces in pain while he sits up the mat. Sadly, the man shouldn’t have sit up as it gave TB the window of opportunity to deliver a hard kick to the back of his opponent. The kick echoes throughout the arena floor, generating a few ‘oooh’s from the capacity crowd.
RK: “Man that was a stiff kick to the back of Karl Baller. Surely, he’d feel that all night.”
TB slowly gathers KB to his feet and delivers some hard forearm smashes to his face. He sets KB up for a suplex and it connects. Tony Bonito waits for KB to get to his feet before he tries to run towards him. KB catches the champion and takes him to the mat with a deep amrdrag takedown. TB gets to his feet and yet again receives an armdrag for his troubles. Bonito heads to the corner upon his ascendance from the mat and Karl Baller follows him there. Once TB backs himself into the corner, he waits for KB to approach him before he lays some hard kicks to the gut of his opponent.
JR: “Like a trap waiting to spring up, Tony Bonito drew his opponent at the corner and starts to waylay him with kicks to the mid-section.”
Tony Bonito grabs the stunned KB and places him on the corner before he continues to deliver some hard kicks and punches. He sits KB on the top turnbuckle and starts to climb the second rope. He grabs onto Karl Baller and is looking to deliver a belly to belly from the corner.
RK: “Oh my goodness, don’t tell me he’s going to try THAT on the corner.”
JR: “We have seen Bonito do this a couple of times already, King. So I am sure he WOULD do something like this.”
Bonito sets KB up on the corner for the belly to belly suplex, but KB fights back with a couple of headbutts at TB. TB gets groggy and slowly looses of his grip before his eventual fall towards the mat. KB, on the other hand, stumbles out of the top rope and leans back on the corner momentarily. Baller heads over to the recovering TB and rains down on the clubs to the back. He grabs Bonito and whips him into the ropes. TB bounces off the ropes and is taken down by a spinning forearm smash by Baller.
JR: “Baller with the forearm smash and it takes Bonito down!”
RK: “Did you see that mid-air spin, JR?! WOW!”
While Bonito is slowly getting to his feet, Karl Baller bounces off the ropes. TB is up and Baller comes back to deliver a spinning headscisors that TB counters into a sidewalk slam. Bonito slowly gets to his feet and waits for KB to get to his feet before he grabs him and tries to deliver the nitoplex.
JR: “Bonito is trying to get KB with the Nitoplex, King.”
RK: “Here comes trouble for Baller.”
Bonito fails to connect the nitoplex as KB drives his elbow right across his face. Bonito lets go and this gives KB the time to take him down with a dropkick.
JR: “Karl Baller takes down Bonito with that dropkick after narrowly avoiding the nitoplex.”
KB waits for Bonito to get up. On the other side, we see Bonito slowly getting up while the referee is observing him do so. Eventually, the X-WCW Champion gets to his feet and KB springs to action and attempts a jumping side kick on him. As fate would have it, however, Bonito avoids the kick and it would be the referee who would suffer the kick instead.
RK: “Man, he wiped the referee out with that kick, JR.”
JR: “My goodness, he surely did.”
Bonito charges at KB, who quickly back body drops him over the ropes. TB crashes down to the outside of the ring while KB turns around to check on the referee. On the outside, TB slowly gets to his feet and scrambles towards the announce table to grab one of his two belts.
JR: “just what is he doing?!”
RK: “Holding his prized possessions maybe?”
TB slides back into the ring while KB is still busy reviving the referee. TB makes a charge for it and knocks KB on the back of his head with the title. The fans boo loudly as KB slumps down on the mat and Bonito slides the belt to the outside.
RK: “Man, talk about déjà vu. Didn’t the same thing happen to KB on Starrcade?”
JR: “You’re damn right it did and TB has screwed him again on this night.”
The referee has been revived and Bonito drags the unconscious KB in the middle of the ring and locks on the ankle lock. With KB passed out, we see no signs of struggle as the submission hold is applied. A few seconds later, the referee rings the bell to end the match.
THII: “The winner as a result of a knock out, TONY BONITO!!!”
“Fury of the storm” blares throughout the speakers as the fans start to chant ‘bullshit’ at the winner. The referee collects the two belts of Bonito at ringside before they are handed to TB.
JR: “This is sheer mockery, King. Bonito just did the same damn stunt that he pulled on Starrcade: Revolution and I bet he’s sure damn proud of himself right now.”
The fans continue to boo and chant ‘Bullshit’ while TB celebrates his win by going up the rampway and having a grin stapled on his face. Inside the ring, Karl Baller is helped up by the ring official.
JR: “Karl Baller is a resilient competitor, King. Things like this keep on happening to him, and you know he does not for one deserve to be cheated this way.”
RK: “I dunno, JR. You can say Bonito cheated, but it ain’t cheating until you get caught in the act. Bonito got away with it tonight, and he lives another day as the champion. Man, he’s so smart.”
The scene fades out from ringside as we now head to the backstage area.
In the nTo’s locker room
Cane Deathscream, Alec Lightstar, Raven Darkstorm, The Real Deal, and Josh Leyh are sitting around they all look depressed by the defeats and their failures to recapture the various X-WCW titles. They are silent until TRD finally speaks.
TRD: “What do we do now, Cane?”
Cane sits up in his chair. He looks at TRD.
CD: “I don’t know. Every time we get a little momentum it’s squashed by Crook and the Revolution. Maybe he’s right maybe we should disband.”
The rest mutter in agreement when the locker room door busts open a familiar voice is heard, it’s Christopher Back and D-Extreme standing in the door way on crutches.
CB: “Over…my…dead…body!”
The rest of the nTo members stand up in disbelief.
CD: “I thought two were still healing.”
D-EX: “We are. But we decided to visit you all and tell you good news: they have agreed to come Ground Zero IV.”
JL: “Who?”
Back and D-Extreme stare at TRD, Leyh, Lightstar, and Darkstorm who all have a puzzled look on their faces.
CB: “The most dangerous tag team in the history of this business, it took a lot of convincing but they have agreed to come to Ground Zero IV, but only if they can challenge Crook and Bonito in the main event for the X-WCW Championship.”
CD: “You know Crook and Bonito will never agree to that.”
D-EX: “On Nitro #25 you will challenge any member of the Revolution to a cage match and add the stipulation that when you win you pick the main event for Ground Zero IV. And in the unlikely event that you lose the nTo will disband forever. The rest of you will make sure that there are no screw jobs.”
CB: “Cane we have had our differences in the past but you know what is at stake here and I know that you won’t let us down, because if you fail they will tear you apart at Ground Zero IV.”
RD: “Who is this tag team?”
D-Ex: “The most feared team in history.”
CB: “I almost feel sorry for Crook and Bonito when they get into the ring with those guys, they’re crazier than anyone in this company.”
Cane looks up and smiles at his friends.
CD: “On Nitro #25 the Revolution won’t know what hit them.”
D-EX: “Excellent!”
Christopher Back just smiles as Warzone comes to a close.”
To be continued...
JR: “Good evening folks to another edition of WARZONE! I am James Russell and beside me here as always is Randal King. We are here at the sold out Frank Erwin Center in Austin Texas.”
RK: “They say Texas is the home of the big things, JR. Tonight, it will be a big night for the X-WCW. Tonight Warzone is hitting the big 3-5 and we have a confirmation of two title matches. First up we got the television title on the line as Mike Magnus defends it against Greg Biafra and the three-way tag team title match with RNR, Starstorm, and the champs Final Frontier.”
JR: “With two title matches on the line, King, this WILL be one for the books.”
“Fury of the storm” hits and Tony Bonito enters ringside wearing the usual red, white, and blue hooded sports jacket. He has the two belts strapped on his waist while he casts his head down on the stage. Eventually, he looks up while his index fingers point into the air and red, white, and blue pyros shoot up from the stage. He makes his way down the rampway as the fans boo loud and chant “Nito, Sucks!” at him.
THII: “Making his way to the ring, he is the X-WCW Champion and the holder of the Tony Bonito Worl Heavyweight Title, TONY BONITO!!!”
Bonito enters the ring and climbs up the nearest corner he could find inside. He takes off his hood and roars towards the crowd with both arms raised in the air. He hops out of the corner and grabs the mic from THII. He waits for his music, and the chants possibly, to fade down.
TB: “As you can see on my waist, I now have two symbols that prove that I am the greatest. I told you all before, I finally did it, thanks to my efforts and the revolution’s we made the X-WCW a better place to compete in. No longer would young, talented, and up and coming wrestlers languish due to the overpowering force that is the nTo. In fact if you look at it, the nTo is a shell of its former self. You people thought they would rise again just because a certain Cane Deathscream is running it?”
TB laughs before he speaks again.
TB: “That’s laughable. Remember, the time that Cane leads a group or is head of something, a lot of things would screw up. Yeah, he sure did lead the army of darkness didn’t he? After he lost, he crawled his way back to Christopher Back and sought forgiveness. For that, he got the General Manager job, in which he did a bang up job by the way. To be honest, he did so good, he lost to a drunk! So after that, he left the X-WCW, only came back years later to try and restore the nTo while the two figures of Chris Back and D-Extreme are gone.”
TB shakes his head as he pauses. In the arena, we can hear a faint “n-t-o” chant amongst the crowd.
TB: “Sad to say, Cane, you and the current nTo morons don’t have what it takes to restore it to its former glory. Face it, just like disco, the nTo is already dead. You and the rest of its current members just hang onto it for namesake purposes and nothing more. Face it, me and the Revolution singlehandedly defeated the nTo ever since we took out Chris Back during the X-Rumble!”
He raises his arm in the air as the fans continue to boo him. All of a sudden, “Deadly game” comes blasting through the speakers and the fans cheer to the appearance of Cane Deathscream.
JR: “Speaking of Cane and the nTo, King, the big blue machine himself is marching down to ringside with intent in his eyes.”
RK: “From the looks of it, JR, he is none too pleased either.”
CD enters the ring by going over the ropes. Tony Bonito and Cane Deathscream look at each other in contempt before Cane grabs his own microphone and points directly at Bonito.
CD: “Bonito, why don’t you do everyone here a damn favor and shut the hell up?! You think you beaten the nTo? You think were just a shell of our former selves? You know I have had it up to here with you running your mouth and talking smack about the me and the nTo. Just because you took out our leader Christopher Back, and also D-Extreme, doesn’t mean were dead and sleeping under the water with the fishes.”
Cane pulls down his hand and paces around the ring while he continues to speak.
CD: “You can go ahead and tell the world about how much times you got the upper hand on the nTo. How you got Powermaster Prime and Bombshell to defect to the Revolution, or even the time you got help from Jack Blade to get the title. However, you cannot claim that the nTo is DEAD! Tonight, as I’ve said, I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you yapping about and thinking your great and you know what I am going to do about it? I’m challenging you tonight for your belts!”
The fans cheer while Bonito shakes his head.
TB: “Whoa. Slow down there BUCKO! I am open to kicking your ass tonight, but I don’t even think your #1 contendership material. Not after I beaten your ass in Starrcade: Revolution.”
CD: “Oh, now what is this Tony? If I’m that beatable why can’t you STILL put your title on the line? Are you a chicken? You yellow?”
CD laughs at TB, who is visibly getting angered by the man’s mocking of him.
TB: “FINE! You got your damn title match, bucko! I’m going to show you who’s yellow after I’m through with you!”
TB glares at Cane Deathscream, who now nods approvingly to the champion’s decision.
CD: “You know Bonito, I might be wrong about you. You may not be so yellow after a-”
“Hate it or luv” hits the speakers and Karl Baller comes out with a mic on his hand. Both Cane and TB look at the stage while the fans chant “BALLER!” rather loudly.
JR: “King! Karl Baller is in the house right now!”
RK: “Oh man, I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be here. You know, every time he tries to interrupt Tony Bonito, it’s either the Revolution or Jack Blade who will lay him out seconds later. Just for precautionary needs and all, he has to just bolt outta here before he gets his bearings yet again.”
KB keeps himself on the stage and pulls up the mic to near his lips and begins to speak.
KB: “Ayo, I see that good ol’ Tony Bonito has been handing out free title matches tonight. Now I’ve told you last time we met, Bonito, when I finish off Jack Blade and Radon in my match, I’m gunnin for you and your title! Remember, we still have a title match for tonight, and don’t even think of taking that one away just so you can appease Cane Deathscream and try to repair his damaged ego!”
Cane glares at KB and points at him before TB shakes his head and backs away from the ropes.
TB: “OK! OK! Sheesh! Seems like I’m in high demand tonight huh? FINE! Baller, you still get the rematch from me tonight, infact, I will be in TWO one on one matches tonight defending my gold and proving to both of you and the rest of these people here that I am the best X-WCW wrestler to date!”
RK: “Is he serious?! I don’t think Bonito is thinking right tonight, JR! He is seriously putting his belts on the line tonight? TWICE?!”
JR: “You heard the man, King. He is the champion and if he accepts both challenges and gets approval from John Crook, it can be set to stone that tonight, we have TWO separate matches for the X-WCW Championship and the Tony Bonito World Heavyweight Title.”
The fans cheer for this announcement and we see KB having a smirk on his lips while he stands there on the stage and nods in approval. Back in the ring, Cane turns at TB and applauds him while Bonito looks at both of them before speaking.
TB: “Well I hope that’s the last complaint I got tonight. Now I suggest you two go get ready to take me on, cause I know I’m all but set out to do you both in.”
“Fury of the storm” hits the speakers and X-WCW Warzone goes to commercials as we see Tony Bonito raising both his titles in the air as he faces both Cane and Baller.
X-WCW TV Championship
Greg Biafra vs Mike Magnus (c)
JR: "Welcome back to Warzone folks. Our first match is about to get underway and it will be Mike Magnus defending his TV championship against the straight-edge Greg Biafra."
RK: “Which he’ll be winning tonight. Because straight-edge means he’s better than Mike Magnus.”
JR: “That remains to be determined.”
“I want to conquer the world” by Bad Religion hits the PA. Out from the back emerges Greg Biafra who receives a fairly unfavorable heel reaction from the crowd. He crosses his arms in the straight-edge X formation then walks down to the ring. He enters the ring and poses in the ring. He awaits his opponent.
“To the Pain” by Nonpoint plays and the crowd cheers as Mike Magnus emerges with the TV title around his waist. He shake hands with a few fans and enters the ring. he poses on the turnbuckle and holds the title up high for an even louder cheer. He hands the belt to the referee who holds it high to signify what the contest is for.
THII: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our opening contest and it is for the X-WCW TV Championship. To my left, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 238 pounds, the challenger, Greg Biafra!”
The crowd boos some more.
THII: “And to my right, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 217 pounds, he is the reigning and defending X-WCW TV Champion, Mike Magnus!”
The crowd cheers some more.
The ref signals for the bell and the match is underway. The two men lock up.
JR: “And Greg Biafra will get the early advantage here after sending Mike Magnus to the ground on that exchange.”
RK: “Told you he was better, This shouldn’t take too long.”
Magnus tries to get to his feet, but Biafra clubs him in the back. He then shoots off the ropes and nails Magnus with a drop kick. He goes for a cover and Magnus kicks out at two.
JR: “Magnus showing his resiliency on that one. He gets the shoulder up.”
RK: “Some call it resilience, I call it stupidity.”
JR: “Yeah, well you face is stupid.”
RK: “Is that the best you can do, play by play man?”
Biafra goes to pick Magnus up, but Magnus responds with several shot to the gut and gets to his feet. Magnus connects with a couple of forearm shots and whips biafra off the ropes. Magnus hits him on the retrun with a spinning wheel kick. Magnus looks like he’s going to cover, but he doen’t and begings to lay into Biafra with a series of punches. Magnus gets up and climbs the turnbuckle.
JR: “Magnus is gonna go high risk early here.”
Magnus waits until Biafra gets up and leaps off with a flying cross body. Both men come crashing down and Magnus rolls Biafra up for a pin. Unfortunately the momentum of the move puts Magnus into the pinning predicament. Biafra goes for the cover now.
1,2, and Magnus kicks out
JR: “That late momentum shift could have cost Magnus his title, but he still manages to kick out.”
RK: “He’s just delaying the inevitable. He’s still gonna lose.”
Both men get back up and Biafra charge and nails Magnus with a clothesine. Magnus gets back up only to be taken down by another one. Magnus gets up a third time and gets nailed with a Pele kick from Biafra.
RK: “I heard Biafra learned that one in the pit of hardcore show in LA.”
JR: “Very impressive move from Biafra. He has Magnus in the corner and now Biafra takes to the turnbuckle. He’s looking to go high risk now.”
Biafra jumps off the ropes with a diving headbutt, but Magnus just mangaes to get out of the way. Biafra crashes and burns on that one. Biafra is rolling in pain and Magnus is trying to get back to his feet. He manages to get up and grabs Biafra. He irish whips Biafra over into the corner. He follow up with a stinger splash.
JR: “Magus puts it in his favor again. Now he starts lighting up Greg Biafra with some Ric Flair like chops.”
Sure enough, the crowd notices the chops. After each chop Magnus delivers, the crowd respinds with a hearty “WOO!”
After several chops, Magnus gabs Biafra and delivers an arm drag to send him away from the corner. He then follows that up with a kick to the back of Biafra. He goes for a cover and only gets a two count.
JR: “Another near fall there. This is getting tense.”
Magnus goes to work over Biafra who is on his knees. Biafra fights back with a couple of forearm shots to Magnus and gets back to his feet. He grabs Magnus and locks in an abdominal stretch.
RK: “Here it comes, Magnus has to submit.”
JR: “He hasn’t yet. He’s gonna fight. Biafra with the abdominal stretch .The ref is asking him if he wants to quit. Will you look at that! With the referee focused on magnus, Biafra is uing the ropes to cheat.”
RK: “It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”
When the ref look back up at Biafra, he takes his hand off the rope he was using for leverage. Once the referee returns his attention to Magnus, the hand goes right back to the rope. Biafra pulls his body toward the rope, making Magnus hurt even more. even so, he doesn’t give up.
JR: “Magnus has that look on his face. You can tell he’s in excrutiating pain, but he’s not going to give up. He’s a determined champion.”
The ref looks up and sees Biafra with his hand on the rope. He begins the five count and Biafra pulls harder until the count of four when he lets go. He bounces off the rope and delivers a high knee lift to Magnus. He picks him up for the Anarchyer.
RK: “He’s going for the kill now. It’s gonna be over.”
JR: “You may be right. NO! Magnus flips through it. Irish whip sends Biafra off the ropes and YES! MAGNUS DRIVER!”
Magnus nails his finishing manuever and goes for the cover.
The crowd counts along with the pin.
1...2...3!
THII: “Here is your winner and still X-WCW TV Champion, Mike Magnus!”
“To The Pain” plays and Mike Magnus is handed the TV Championship belt. He holds it high and celebrates.
JR: “That’s just the beginning of what’s gonna happen tonight. Still to come tonight we have the three way match for the Tag Team Championship. Final Frontier defends against StarStorm and RNR. We’ll be back after this.”
A graphic with the three tag teams appears on screen with the words “Later Tonight” before the screen fades to commercial.
Backstage
We go backstage and we see Cole Ryan uncomfortably standing beside the recently returned X-WCW Superstar Judge Death.
CR: “We are here backstage with former X-WCW Television Champion, Judge Death. So JD, simple question first, how does it feel to be back in the X-WCW after months of absence?”
Judge Death awakens from a daydream about squirrels with laser guns.
JD: "It ffeelss like rissing ffrom a warm bubble bathh, only to emerge in a bucket off putrid ffilthh, ssurrounded by gypssiess withh odd wigss. But thhen, what elsse iss new? I ffeel thhiss way evverywhere I go. Actually, 'Ssstrike doess not like it when I am sso negativve, doess he? Jusst edit thhiss to ssay 'it iss good' later on."
CR: “Great to hear. So tonight, you will be facing Static and Cruel, the duo that makes the newest X-WCW tag team called Westcoast’s Finest. Do you have any thoughts about those two men before your match?”
Judge Death denies the rewind and slips in a prime cut - boyackah!
JD: "I havve little time ffor thhiss quote-unquote 'gangssta' nonssensse. Ssstatic and Cruel havve made it thheir bussinesss to harasss thhe Real American, and whilsst ssuch actionss are to thheir credit, thhiss alone iss nowhere near enoughh to sspare thhem thhe judgement thhey richly desservve. Pluss, I ffind thheir tasste in clothhing to be obnoxxiouss, sso thhey musst die ffor thhat iff nothhing elsse."
CR: “Since it is a tag team match, you do know your partner for the night is Tommy Capello. In your opinion, what would you make of this eager young man who keeps on challenging anyone to fight him since his debut? Do you think it hinders his development as a wrestler getting into fights that he cannot win so far?”
Judge Death is seriously considering eating John McCain's wife.
JD: "Thhiss boy amussess me, it musst be ssaid. Hiss eagernesss ffor combat almosst matchess mine. And off coursse, it wass not eassy ffor me at ffirsst, eithher...but you pick up a ffew trickss off thhe trade affter thhe ffirsst hundred or sso yearss. I am ssure thhe ssame growthh princciple shhall apply to Tommy in due time. Oh yesss, and beffore I fforget, he musst alsso die in due time. But you knew thhat already, right?"
CR: “UHm..yes…sure. Anyways, thank you for having time to talk to us before the match. We will go back now to ringside for the tag team match featuring Westcoast’s Finest vs Judge Death and Tommy Capello.”
Westcoast’s Finest vs Judge Death and Tommy Capello
We go to ringside and see Terri Hotbody II in the ring with a microphone in her hand.
THII: “The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.”
“California Vacation” plays in the speakers and Static and Cruel come out to a negative response from the crowd as they taunt them on stage.
THII: “Introducing first, the team of Static and Cruel, WESTCOAST’S FINEST!!!”
The duo make their way down the rampway and continue to taunt the fans as they make a headway to the ring.
JR: “These two had a nice debut last time on Nitro as they soundly defeated The Lost Boys.”
RK: “I can tell from the crowd, JR, that these guys are not too friendly with them.”
JR: “Indeed they are. These two seem to be oozing of confidence and are out to prove that they belong in the X-WCW tag team division.”
The two slide into the ring and continue to pose for the fans while their music continues to play. Eventually, they go to one corner of the ring and await their opponents. “Clubbed to Death” by Rob Dougan hits the house speakers as the TC enters the ringside area with a warm reception from the crowd.
THII: "Introducing their opponents. First, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is "The Fight King", TOMMY CAPELLO!!!"
JR: “Tommy Capello, a lot can be said about this young competitor.”
RK: “A lot, JR. I can agree to that. Though I don’t agree that ‘winner’ is one of them. He better try to hang with the big boys here in the X-WCW, JR. He has shown flashes of brilliance but he has not yet won a match.”
JR: “I can say that the same could be said to former champion Karl Baller during his rookie year here. He had to lose 7 matches before hitting it big. Tommy, on the other hand may have the same start but I have to agree to you that he indeed needs to step it up if he ever wants to be taken seriously in the X-WCW. Well, tonight is one of those chances where he can prove his mettle.”
TC stays on the rampway and waits for his partner. Soon enough, “Out of the silent Planet” hits and Judge Death enters to a round of cheers from the crowd. TC slowly tilts his head to see JD stand behind him and JD shrugs his shoulders and looks at his partner.
THII: “And his partner, from Deadworld, he is JUDGE DEATH!!!”
Both JD and TC look at the ring and slowly make their way down the ramp. TC makes the most of his time going down to slap some hands of the fans while JD tries to do the same, only the fans pull away their hands, frightened of slapping palms with the returning X-WCW superstar.
RK: “Haha! Poor JD. Sure, they cheer for him but no one wants to give him a high five, how funny is that?”
JR: “I have no clue, King. I’m just sure about one thing, this has to be the oddest pairing in the X-WCW yet.”
Both men enter the ring in different fashions with TC sliding into the ring and JD slowly making himself enter it through the ropes. Static and Cruel look across the ring to see their opponents as JD’s music fades out into obscurity.
JR: “As both of us said, this is an odd pairing for a tag team, Tommy Capello and Judge Death.”
RK: “Well we have seen odder pairings such as D-Extreme and Ignavus. Well, you know how that fared up didn’t it?”
JR: “Yes I do, King. Potentially, this might be getting a similar future if they do hit it off tonight.”
RK: “If they don’t, hey it was good for a couple of laughs right?”
The bell rings and we see both Tommy Capello and Cruel go to the center of the ring to start for their respective teams. Both men lock up and TC quickly applies an arm bar on Cruel. He has it locked on his opponent momentarily since Cruel uses his free arm to grab onto TC and reverse the submission move. While he has TC’s arm locked, he wrenches it a couple of times before he drives a hard elbow to the arm before he lets go.
JR: “Cruel and TC start off this match with an exchange of holds.”
RK: So far, it looks like Cruel got the upper hand in that exchange.”
Cruel grabs TC and tries to send him into the ropes, but it is reversed. TC waits for Cruel to come back to him and he takes him down with a quick armdrag. Cruel gets to his feet and gets hit by a couple of punches and kicks to the side of his body. Cruel is backed into the ropes and TC sends him to the other side. Cruel bounces off the ropes and TC tries to deliver a spinning wheel kick only to be ducked by his opponent. Cruel comes off the other side and he takes TC down with a running bulldog faceslam.
JR: “TC got caught with that bulldog by Cruel and he goes down. Cruel, picks up Tommy Capello and delivers some hard clubs on the back.”
After delivering some clubbing blows to TC, Cruel reels him in and delivers a hard knee to the gut that sends him down. TC is sitting on the mat and Cruel bounces off the ropes to deliver a boot to the man’s face.
RK: “A vicious assault by Cruel sends Tommy boy down! Man that was a brutal shot given by Cruel. The man really is what his name says he is.”
Cruel drags TC by the legs and tags out to Static. Cruel holds TC’s legs and catapults him towards the corner. TC meets face first with the turnbuckle before he stumbles into a powerslam pin combination by Static.
JR: “The pin is made..1…2.and TC gets his shoulder up.”
Static picks up Tommy Capello and hits some hard chops across his opponent’s chest. He sends him into the ropes and catches him with a hiptoss. With TC down, Static delivers a fist drop straight to TC’s face. Static gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes before he delivers a running knee drop to the face of Tommy Capello.
RK: “It seems to me like TC’s face is the favorite target tonight. HAHAHA!”
Tommy Capello struggles to get up, but once he is up, he is met by a kick to the mid-section. Static grabs him and delivers a snap suplex to take him down yet again. Tommy Capello gets to his feet and is met by a hard punch that dazes him. He is sent into the corner where Static follows him. However, Static eats boot as TC sticks out his feet. Static is momentarily stunned and TC takes him down with a spinning kick to the chest. Tommy waits for Static to get to his feet before he runs at him and takes him down with a spinning leg lariat.
JR: “Tommy Capello, hits that spinning leg lariat and is trying to make a comeback here.”
RK: “Let’s hope he does cause even I am getting sick of him getting his ass beat.”
Tommy Capello bounces off the ropes as Static gets to his feet. Soon, TC tries to clothesline Static, but Static ducks out and takes TC to the mat with a neckbreaker. Static tags out to Cruel and both men pick up TC to his feet before they deliver a double clothesline on him. TC is down and Cruel stomps down on the fallen man. Cruel picks up Tommy Capello and sends him hitting the nearby corner. With TC stuck at the corner, Cruel unloads some hard knee strikes to the body of his opponent before he lifts him up on the top rope. Cruel goes up to the second rope and readies for a superplex.
RK: “Cruel is going for a high risk here, JR.”
JR: “I can see what you mean, King. However, Capello is fighting back with some well placed punches to the rib area of his opponent.”
Tommy Capello shoves Cruel out of the way and the man falls off from the corner. Cruel gets to his feet only to be on a receiving end of Tommy’s missile dropkick from the top rope. Both men are down and we see the fans actually chant for Tommy as he stirs around the mat.
JR: “The fans are behind Capello to get up to his feet.”
RK: “I think they just want him to tag out and save himself from a beating.”
Both men slowly make it back to their corners and tag out to their respective partners. Static and Judge Death enter the ring. Static charges at Judge Death, only to be taken down by a clothesline from Death. Static gets up, but is caught by the throat thanks to JD. Judge Death kicks Static and quickly shifts his hold to a front face lock and eventually sending his opponent down with a DDT. Judge Death gets to his feet and notices Cruel charging towards him. Within a second, he sends him down with a drop toe hold that leaves a very hilarious situation as Cruel heabutts his partner on the groin area. This draws a few laughs from the crowd while we see Static holding the area below his belt in pain.
RK: “ahahah! Talk about awkward, JR.”
JR: “That was some sort of unexpected occurrence more than anything, King. Nevertheless, that would have Static feeling sore till the morning.”
Cruel slowly gets to his feet and Judge Death catches him with a hard buzzsaw-like kick to the side of the head. Cruel is knocked out while Judge Death picks up Static. He throttles Static up using his left hand and drives his right palm into the chest cavity. We hear Static somehow exhale and once JD lets go, Static slumps down the mat and lies motionless.
JR: “That is the finishing more that JD calls the ‘touch of death’, King.”
RK: “Man, now we know WHY he calls it that. I think Static is dead or something now. Hopefully, he’s just out cold.”
Judge Death pins Static and the referee starts the count.
JR: “The pin is being made…1….2….3! That’s it folks, this one is over!”
RK: “In brutal fashion too, JR. I thought it would be longer, but JD proved me wrong. That was a fast and strong return made by Judge Death. For that, I think Tommy should be thankful for having him as his partner tonight.”
The bell rings and Judge Death gets his hand raised by the referee. Tommy Capello enters the ring and raises his arms in the air to celebrate his first win in the X-WCW. Judge Death approaches Tommy soon to help raise his hand, the man is hesitant at first, but eventually, both of them raise each other’s arm in victory.
THII: “The winners of this match, JUDGE DEATH AND TOMMY CAPELLO!”
JR: “I can’t believe it, but I guess Tommy Capello indeed needs to thank good ol’ Judge Death for his first victory here in the X-WCW.”
RK: “The next step for the young man is, win matches alone. This is a tag team match, JR, it’s way different than any singles match.”
JR: “Well folks, we will be back for the 4-way elimination match for Sean Byrne’s US title. Stay tuned, more Warzone after the break.”
Warzone hits to commercials as Judge Death and Tommy Capello celebrate their win some more.
Backstage
CR: "Welcome back to Warzone, and I am here backstage with Seith Helloct. On Starrcade: Revolution, we witnessed one of the most brutal matches in recent history. What I am talking about was your match with Big Dog. So I have to ask, how did it feel to go into that sort of match?"
SH: "...How did it feel?...I knew what I was going to do to Big Dog as soon as he stepped foot into the ring...My mind was set as soon as the challenge was made...He dug his own grave, making the match a Texas DEATH Match...I thrive within the Hardcore realm...Any match with the word 'Death' in it, at all, has the same effect to me...As a child watching the grand opening of a new cookie store...It felt amazing. "
CR: "Tonight, you will be in a four-man match involving you and 3 other competitors for the #1 contendership of the United States Title. For you, do you think it's about time that Seith Helloct will get a chance at another title?"
SH: ".....Yes.....It is about time..."
CR: "Finally, what are your thoughts on the current situation of the X-WCW with the Revolution seemingly running things around through the guise of one John Crook?"
SH: "....John Crook....It's practically in his name......I've got news for you, Revolution....As well as you, Crook.......I believe Karl Baller said it best...'Don't let Christopher Back bite...because he's going bite hard.'......If you keep biting other people, Evolu-....Forgive me, and my Freudian slip....If you keep biting other people, Revolution....They will bite back....”
CR: “There you have it, straight out from Seith Helloct himself. Well folks we gotta go back to ringside for the four man elimination match!”
#1 Contendership to the X-WCW U. S. Championship
4 Way Elimination Match
Sandy Drake vs Otacon vs Seith Helloct vs Mark Marlin
We go back to ringside and we hear “Voodoo Child” by Jimmy Hendrix play throughout the arena floor. Seconds later, Malibu Mark Malin graces the ringside area and struts down the rampway.
THII: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a 4-way elimination match to determine the number one contender for the X-WCW United States Championship. Introducing first, MALIBU MARK MARLIN!!!”
Mark Marlin walks down the rampway as we begin to hear the announcers’ voices.
JR: “Welcome back to ringside folks. Right now it is a four way elimination match to determine, the no. 1 contender for the US title. This is James Russell, Randal King, and our special guest commentator, Sean Byrne. Welcome aboard Sean, good to see you here in the broadcast table.”
SB: “Hey, good to be here with you guys as well.”
RK: “I take it you’re here to scout your potential opponents huh Sean?”
SB: “Nothing says scouting more than getting to see how these four potential contenders for my gold go at it in front of ya while you sit back, relax and sit alongside the best X-WCW announce team.”
RK: “Nice try Sean, but you are NOT getting any of my cheetos. These are for my own consumption.”
SB: “Dang. You couldn’t say I didn’t try.”
Marlin enters the ring and continues to pose for the fans. His music fades slowly and we star to hear “Crows” by Lotus play amongst the background. Seith Helloct makes his way towards the ring with a mixed reaction.
THII: “From Pensacola, SEITH HELLOCT!!!”
JR: “This man right here is a former X-WCW Intercontinental Champion. Sean, tough I forgot to ask it earlier, how do you think these two are and their chances of winning against you?”
SB: “For me, I already fought Marlin for the title and I tell ya, he is one tough cookie. But I believe I can win over him again. As for Seith, he seems like a tall task to be honest. I can’t wait to see how I can go against him.”
Seith slides into the ring while the fans continue to give him a mixed but mostly heelish response. He leans over the nearby corner and stares at Marlin while his music fades down. “Top of the world” plays and Sandy Drake comes to a loud ovation by the fans. He makes his way down while he gives a couple of fans some high fives.
THII: “From Vancouver, BC…he is “The Young One” SANDY DRAKE!!!”
RK: “Calling himself young doesn’t help I think. He’s been here longer than you right Sean?”
SB: “I couldn’t say anything about that King. I think we arrived roughly at the same year. But if I were to face THIS guy, oh boy I surely would look forward to that.”
JR: “Sandy Drake, is a former X-WCW TV champ and no doubt he brings excitement in the ring every time he enters it.”
SD slides into the ring while the fans continue to cheer for him. He eventually climbs up the corner and raises both arms in the air to acknowledge his adoring public. He hops down from the corner and looks pumped up while his music fades out. Seconds later, “Superstar” by Saliva blares at the PA systems and the conman makes his way down to the ringside with a mixed response.
THII: “And from Manchester England, the conman…OTACON!!!”
JR: “This man needs no introduction, folks. He is a former X-WCW Champion, US champion, and International Tag Team Champion.“
RK: “He is a decorated man, JR. Sean, wouldn’t it be nice to face this man, a former US champion?”
SB: “With all the belts he has received throughout his career, hell yes! It would be a pleasure and an honor to be going toe to toe with the conman in the future.”
Otacon enters the ring and looks at the other competitors while his music slowly fades into obscurity. With all four men inside the ring, the bell sounds off to start the match.
RK: “The bell is rung, and all four competitors are going at it.”
JR: “On one side we can see Otacon and Seith exchanging some hard fists while on the other, its Marlin and Drake squaring off.”
Otacon backs Seith into the corner and delivers some punishing chops to the chest. However, Seith fights back with some hard kicks to the mid-section of the con man before he grabs him and sends him into the corner instead. With the turning of the tables, Seith starts to hit some shoulder charges on Otacon at the corner of the ring. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Mark Marlin is clubbing away on the back of TYO before he whips him into the ropes. Marlin tries to clothesline TYO, but he slides under him. TYO gets back up behind Mark Marlin and drives him to the mat with an inverted DDT. TYO picks up Mark Marlin and delivers some forearms to the face. The cameras switch to the other side and we see Seith already taking a few steps away from the corner before he runs and tries to deliver a corner splash.
SB: “Seith going for the stinger splash on the corner, guys, he…MISSES! Oh man that is going to hurt him in the morning.”
RK: “Haha, poor Seith.”
Seith is reeling and Otacon catches him with a spear to the mat. With Seith down, Otacon rains down the punches on his face for a few seconds. Otacon waits for Helloct to get to his feet before he scoops him up and slams him down to the mat yet again. On the other side of the ring, we see TYO trying to suplex Marlin, but it’s blocked. Marlin counters it with a snap suplex and waits for TYO to get to his feet before sending him hard on the mat with a clothesline.
SB: “That’s one vicious clothesline if I saw one.”
RK: “Yeah, that must have knocked the taster out of TYO’s mouth.”
Marlin turns around and sees Otacon picking up Helloct. From behind Marlin nails the con man with a stiff blow to the back of the head. Otacon is down on one knee while Marlin goes around him and levels him with a boot to the face. Otacon rolls onto the mat before he is picked up by Marlin. TYO is up and he charges at Mark Marlin. Before he could get to Marlin, Seith catches him with a hiptoss.
JR: “Well guys, it seems to me that they changed dancing partners inside the squared circle.”
RK: “No doubt JR. Let’s see who will get the first elimination here.”
Seith locks on an armbar to keep TYO grounded while we see Marlin backing Otacon into a corner. There, he delivers repeated kicks to the side of the con man before he sets him on the top turnbuckle. Marlin is up on the second rope and tries to grab onto Otacon. However, the con man does not cooperate as he delivers a hard punch to the face of Marlin to keep him away. Another punch dazes Mark Marlin and Otacon grabs him in a front face lock. Otacon is standing on the top rope and launches himself into the air before landing a tornado DDT from the corner.
JR: “Bah gawd! What a move by Otacon.”
SB: “A DDT from the corner, JR, I think Marlin is out of it now.”
With Mark Marlin laid out, Otacon hauls him up to his feet before placing a boot to the gut. After the well placed boot, Otacon finishes him off with the Final Impact.
JR: “FINAL IMPACT ON MARLIN!”
SB: “There goes the pin..1…2…3! We got our first elimination guys, woo!”
Otacon gets off of Mark Marlin and watches the referee trying to revive his opponent. On the other side, we see Seith Helloct picking up TYO and hitting him with a hard knee to the gut. TYO is stunned and is tossed to the outside of the ring.
THII: “Mark Marlin has been eliminated!”
While the referee’s back is turned, we see Seith sneak up and lowblows Otacon from behind. Otacon is spun around by Seith before he is laid out with the evenflow DDT.
JR: “Evenflow by Seith after that lowblow he delivered to the con man.”
SB: “Though it seemed like cheating, it seemed he also out-conned the con man on that exchange.”
RK: “You said it. Otacon has a past of being a sneaky snake as well.”
With Otacon down, the referee turns his attention back to the pin being made by Seith Helloct.
JR: “The cover is made…1…2…3! Damn it, Seith steals this one from Otacon.”
THII: “Otacon has been eliminated!!!”
Otacon is rolled out of the ring and only Seith remains inside the ring, that is until TYO slides back into the ring and both men face off at the center of the ring. The fans are on their feet as soon as both men start to punch each other inside the squared circle.
SB: “Don’t look now fellas but both men are in a heated brawl!”
RK: “Hey, its MY job to look, so don’t you tell me what to do, Byrne!”
SB: “I was..uh..just jokin Randal.”
RK: “I’m on to you!”
Seith eventually hits a punch that knocks TYO off his feet momentarily. Sandy Drake gets back to his feet only to get reeled into a clothesline. TYO ducks down and sneaks behind Seith for a rollup.
JR: “He rolls up Seith for the pin..1..2..and Seith kicks out!”
SB: “Sandy is surely trying to get this match over and done with eh?”
RK: “YOU can say that again.”
SB: “…no I DON’T have to…”
Both men get to their feet and its TYO who takes down Seith with an overhead toss. Seith lands on his feet and charges at TYO. TYO scouts him and sends him down with a quick drop toe hold. TYO floats over to lock in a side headlock. It keeps Seith grounded for a good few seconds before he gets to his feet and starts to deliver some hard elbow strikes to the gut of TYO. TYO lets go and is sent bouncing into the ring ropes. Seith catches him with a kick to the mid-section before he bounces off the ropes and sends TYO to the mat with a running neckbreaker.
SB: “Nicely timed neckbreaker there by Seith, don’t you agree JR?”
JR: “I have to agree with you on that Sean. He executed it with precision.”
RK: “Hey, I agree with it too!”
Seith Helloct gathers TYO to his feet, but TYO surprises his opponent with a hard punch to the gut before he connects with a jawbreaker maneuver. Seith backs away and actually leans on the ring ropes before TYO clotheslines him over it. Seith manages to get his bearings and land on the apron instead of the outside. Helloct rolls back into the ring where TYO is waiting for him. TYO approaches him, only to get a poke in the eye.
RK: “Seith still has a lot of tricks from his bag, huh?”
TYO is momentarily stunned from the poke and is reeled in for a front face lock. Seith looks to be going for his finisher, but it’s blocked by TYO. TYO delivers some hard punches to the side of Helloct for him to let go. Once out, TYO delivers a stiff jab to the face of Seith before he backs up and nails him with the age before beauty superkick.
SB: “The ABB on Seith and both men are down! This is intense rockin action if I do say so myself!”
Drake crawls on top of the fallen Seith and covers him for the pin. The referee sees the pin being made and starts the count.
JR: “The pin is made: One-two-THREE! Sandy Drake got the match won with his kick!”
SB: “Great, I’m going to like this match.”
As TYO’s music hits the speakers, we see his hand being raised by the referee. While TYO heads up the corner inside the ring, he stares at Byrne and points to him. Byrne takes out his headset and raises his US title belt in the air while he stares back at TYO. X-WCW heads to commercials with both men still staring at the other.
Tag Team Grudge Match
Joe Goldstone & Justin Sane vs RA & Nightmare
As we come back from the commercials, the overhead lights start to flicker at high speed, giving everyone such a killer migraine they don’t even notice that Drowning Pool’s ‘Bodies’ has begun to play. Of course, this all changes at the cry of ‘FLOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!’, as the people get to their feet for the straggly-haired youth who comes rolling out from backstage on a skateboard. A skateboard on fire.
TH2: “The following tag-team contest is set for one fall! First, making his way down to the ring...from Davison, Michigan, weighing in at 173 pounds, the current X-WCW Xtreme Champon, JUSTIN SAAAAAAANNNNE!”
Justin continues to roll down the entrance ramp, hollering at the appreciative crowd, before trying for a manual – but he quickly realises that A) his trousers are ablaze, and B) he’s only five metres away from the apron. He quickly shifts his weight forward, but overdoes it; the board’s nose digs into the ground, bringing it to an instant halt. His momentum does not allow him the same luxury, and so the sanity-challenged one is propelled forwards to collide with the edge of the apron nose-first.
JR: “Oh god – “
RK: “HA!”
Justin quickly returns to his feet, and proceeds to wobble into the ring, making groaning noises.
RK: “He’s not dead? I want my money back!”
JR: “But...you’re staff. You don’t pay anything to watch this. Much the opposite, in fact...”
RK: “Then why does that guy at the gates keep asking me for tickets?”
JR: *sblack persons*
RK: “Waitaminute...F***!”
‘Bodies’ fades away, to be replaced by Disturbed’s ‘Down with the Sickness’. Lots of sparkly gold pyro stuff arcs out from the sides of the stage towards the centre, just as a well-built bald man struts out from behind the curtains. He stands amidst the sparks as they shower over him. This all seems terribly familiar...
TH2: “And his partner...from Parts Unknown, weighing 276 pounds...JOE GOOOOOLLLLDSTOOOONNE!”
JR: “For those of you at home who didn’t buy Starrcade Revolution – you filth – Goldstone here lost the Intercontinental Title to Rocky Davis in what he claims was a fluke.”
RK: “Wasn’t. Gang warfare is perfectly legal.”
JR: “True, but – wait, no it isn’t! Anyway, it wasn’t ‘gang warfare’, it looked like blatant interference to me. Lord knows what it looked like to you, Randal...”
RK: “Beverly Hills 90210 repeats.”
JR: “Urgh...”
Goldstone emerges from his spark bath and goes “BLARGH!” a lot at nobody in particular. He also swings his arms over his shoulders like there’s a bunch of angry wasps there or something. This gets a decent reaction from our easy-to-impress crowd. He rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring, sparing his partner barely a glance – but fixating on Justin’s Xtreme Title belt quite obviously. Justin looks down and gets the wrong idea, before having a heated discussion with the ref involving lots of floppy-wrist gestures.
RK: “Be honest, now – you’d much rather have Goldstone as the Xtreme champ, wouldn’t you?”
JR: “No! Justin won it, and if you ask me, he’s another shining example of X-WCW’s progressive approach to rising talent.”
RK: “Progressive nothing. He’s a manky little tool. I’d much rather have that big hunk o’ man-meat with the title.”
JR: “I think you’ll find that came out wrong.”
And speaking of wrong things, we now hear the sweet sounds of Kid Rock delivering ‘Cocky’, and the audience’s mood sours quickly at the sight of the thick-set man who appears from backstage, title belt held high and professional scowl in place.
TH2: “And the opponents...first, from Ellis Island, weighing in at 350 pounds...he is the X-WCW Intercontinental champion...the Real American, ROCKYYYYYYYYYY DAVIS!”
Davis swaggers down to the ring, gazing upon the assembled masses with scorn. He spits at them, but kinda makes a mess of things, so all the drool just dribbles down his chin and stains the lapel of his big, expensive trenchcoat. Ew! Thankfully, our cameras are too poor-quality to communicate this information to the viewers at home, so Rocky can get away with ignoring it.
JR: “You know, it may sound ridiculous to some people, but I preferred this man when he was just a hopeless, bumbling fool. Ever since becoming competent, his attitude has just rubbed me up the wrong way.”
RK: “Hush, fool – we are all now living in THE AGE OF R.A.!”
JR: “Uh, gimmick infringement?”
RK: “If the guy’s injured it doesn’t count.”
JR: “But – “
RK: “DOESN’T COUNT.”
Reaching the ring steps, Rocky wastes no time in tripping over them and face-planting on the floor. Goldstone and Sane admirably keep their faces straight.
RK: “Oh, crud.”
JR: “Y’know, I am so glad that it’s not my job to get that guy over.”
RK: “Why me?”
Davis picks himself up and brushes down his coat, as if nothing happened, before rolling into the ring. Goldstone gets up in his face, only to have Rocky stick his tongue out at him. The ref quickly steps between the two men before anything worse happens, and ‘Go To Sleep’ kicks into gear...
TH2: “And his partner...from Your Living Nightmare, weighing in at 145 pounds...NIGHTMAAAAAARRRRE!”
The ever-intense martial arts wizard, hair dripping with sweat and PURE RAGE, sweeps the curtain aside and hurriedly paces down the ramp, dark eyes fixated on Justin Sane, ignoring the catcalls that greet his appearance.
RK: “Hey – where’s the goth chick?”
JR: “Evidently, miss Bloodstone had better things to be doing tonight.”
RK: “I can think of a few things she should be doing...hur-hur-hur!”
JR: “Stop making weird noises. And it seems like our viewers here tonight have a bone to pick with Nightmare, though it could just be shame by association, what with having to team with Rocky Davis.”
Nightmare rolls in under the bottom rope and quickly adopts a defensive stance against any possible attack...which doesn’t come; Goldstone is still staring down Davis, and Justin isn’t paying attention, instead choosing to scan the crowd for any funny signs. Ref Greene requests for the present champions to remove their belts – no, not their real belts, silly! The title ones! RA almost gets the wrong idea, but Nightmare quickly corrects him. With them handed to the timekeeper, the bell is rung and away we go...to a standing start, since neither team has much knowledge of what we might tentatively call ‘teamwork’. Justin is champing at the bit to get to work, but Joe shouts at him unintelligibly until he hops back onto the apron. Meanwhile, Rocky attempts to outline his very clever divide-&-conquer plan to Nightmare, but Mr. Cage-Fighter goes cross-eyed when the Real American starts pointing things out on a whiteboard with the help of a laser pointer, and so just shoves his partner out of the ring, PowerPoint presentation and all. So, it’s Goldstone and Nightmare to start...
JR: “It’s pure power versus technique...”
RK: “Who’m I supposed to be backing here? One’s bald and boring, the other one’s grungey and boring.”
JR: “Making such tough decisions is the mark of a good announ – takedown by Nightmare!”
Indeed, as Joe stepped forward, Nightmare swept his legs out from under him, before clutching one shin and applying a Heel Hook submission! Goldstone, however, merely feels affronted at being trapped in a girl’s signature hold, and so sits up, grabs a fistful of Nightmare’s hair, and wails all over the poor man’s ugly face. This does a surprisingly effective job of relieving the pressure on Joe’s leg, and he manages to extricate himself from the predicament, returning to his feet and quickly stomping on Nightmare’s chest a few times before dragging him back up. Joe stuns the ‘Mare with a few stiff forearms before whipping him to the ropes – and nailing a sweet Powerslam on the return! He holds on for a cover, 1 – and a quick kickout. Not terribly surprised, Goldstone pulls Nightmare up again, gets him in a front facelock, then lifts him up for a Suplex – and holds Nightmare in position for a good few seconds...
JR: “Look at the strength! Look at the power! Look at – uh-oh!”
Until Nightmare slips out of it, falling behind Joe and landing comfortably in a crouch. Goldstone spins around – and takes a Hook Kick right on the chin! He crashes like a ton of...well, a ton of anything you like, frankly!
JR: “Did you hear the crack from that kick?!”
RK: “Okay, my mind’s made up; I like the grungey one.”
JR: “Starting to appreciate the game you’re supposed to be calling, eh?”
RK: “No, but he keeps cutting you off, and I like it when you don’t speak.”
Joe pushes himself up onto all fours – only for Nightmare to grab his head and sharply drive one knee into his face. Joe reels back, and Nightmare follows with a couple of Wooooo-instigating chops, and then one heckuvah Enziguri, cracking across the back of Goldstone’s skull and laying him flat again! Nightmare makes a cover, 1, 2 – kickout! By this point, Rocky Davis has managed to untangle himself from his projector and is hopping up and down on the apron, desperate for a tag. Or a pee break. Assuming (correctly) that it’s the former he wants, Nightmare drags Goldstone over to his corner by the ankle and tags in the Real American, who does a turbo-Macarena followed by a mighty Hogan-approved Leg Drop. He goes for a pin, but again, Goldstone kicks out at 2. Davis makes a point of disputing this with the ref.
JR: “I don’t see what Rocky has to gain by arguing with Sid Greene; he’s never reversed a decision in his entire career.”
RK: “There’s a first time for everything – and Joe’s shoulders MUST have been down for 3! That was a Hogan Leg Drop! Nobody gets up from that!”
JR: “The Rock?”
RK: “Except him.”
JR: “Ultimate Warrior?”
RK: “Stop with the names – oh, no, look out, you big moron!”
Randal’s warning comes too late as the recovered Goldstone returns to his vertical base and glares, seething, at the back of Davis’ head. Ref Greene repeatedly instructs RA to turn around and continue the match, which, eventually, he does – by getting lifted off his feet by Joe, carried for a yard or two and then planted with a Spinebuster in the centre of the ring!
JR: “OH MY GODLIKE HIGHER BEING! Did you see how effortlessly Goldstone lifted that 350-pounder?!”
RK: “No, I didn’t, so it didn’t happen and RA’s still winning. Right? Right?”
JR: “Wrong.”
Pulling Rocky up by the hair, Joe whips him into his corner with extreme force; Davis ricochets off the post with a muted thud and staggers forward, only to be cut down by a high-flying Lariat from Goldstone, who almost reluctantly tags in Justin Sane. Sane clambers up on top of the turnbuckle as the crowd builds in anticipation, then waits whilst RA waves away the little birds circling his head...gets up...and turns around, to find Justin diving towards him, hooking one arm around Davis’ head, twisting around and FLOORING HIM WITH A BEE-YOU-TEE-FUL TORNADO DDT! Justin quickly covers the prone RA...
1-2-3 – NO! Nightmare runs in and punt-kicks Sane right on the forehead!
JR: “What a despicable act! And what’s with all these Orton references tonight?”
Goldstone enters the ring to help, but is restrained by Sid Greene, who’s just as blind/daft as any other ref ever. Behind his back, Nightmare lifts the stunned Justin up into a Suplex position – and HITS HOME WITH THE GO TO SLEEP! His work done, Nightmare slinks back onto the apron and yells at Rocky Davis to make the pin. Davis obliges, barely, rolling over to drape one arm across Sane’s chest. Somewhat inevitably, ref Greene chooses this exact moment to turn around, and makes the count:
1!
JR: “Not like this - !”
RK: “Shaddap! Any way is fine, boys!”
2!
3 – What? NO! UNBELIEVABLE! SANE GETS A SHOULDER UP!
Nightmare looks aghast! Goldstone breathes a sigh of relief! RA gets annoyed! And Justin...well, he looks slightly concussed, but what else is new?
RK: “You...you...JAMES! You jinxed it!”
JR: “Did not! Justin’s just tough like old boots, is all.”
Seeking a quick end, Rocky yanks Justin back up and slings the madman up across his shoulders, thinking it’s about time for a Death Valley Driver – but alas, no; Sane hooks his feet onto the top rope, preventing Davis from carrying him towards the middle of the ring – and then, with a bit of calculated wiggling, slips down off the Real American’s shoulders and into a SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP!
1!
2 – and a kickout!
JR: “Nice try from Justin, but Davis has too much awareness to fall for that sort of maneuver!”
RK: “Oh, yeah, ‘maneuver’...one of my guys tried that, you’d call it cheating, biased gimp...”
Rocky is understandably unhappy about Justin countering one of his favourite moves, and so drops another favourite – the Bionic Elbow – on Sane’s face. As Justin reacts unfavourably to having his nose squashed, RA tags Nightmare back in, and the MMA-aping one stalks the madman as Justin uses the ropes to pull himself up, one hand still covering his face...
RK: “Kill the Jackass reject! KILL!”
JR: “Justin looks out of it...”
Sane finally returns to his feet – only for Nightmare to lock him into the Trapped In Your Dreams! Immediately, Sane’s arms begin to pinwheel frantically, as Nightmare wrenches away ever more fiercely at his neck...
JR: “Trapped In Your Dreams! This one could be over in just a few seconds!”
RK: “Tap, you Metallica-liking, baggy-trouser-wearing fool!”
JR: “Nightmare doesn’t want a tapout, he wants Justin TKO’d!”
Nightmare tries to take Justin down to the mat, but Justin isn’t having any of it; despite his fading, he staggers valiantly towards the ropes...a little more, just a little...and then...he trips.
JR: “Wh – WHOA!”
Trips straight through the ropes, that is, grabbing the top one as he does – but Nightmare, too focused on his hold, doesn’t see it coming and tumbles straight down to the floor! Nevertheless, he rises quickly – only to find Sane’s legs locked across his neck, from which Justin launches a Headscissor Takedown STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR!
JR: “Wouldja look at the athleticism of that – “
RK: “Drugged-up freak...” *mutters darkly*
JR: “Never underestimate the unorthodox tendencies – the insanity – of Justin Sane!
As the ref starts to count, RA hops down off the apron and wanders around to the two barely-moving bodies, ignoring Greene’s protests. With a sneer to the crowd, he pulls Justin up, and puts him in place for a Powerbomb...
JR: “I’m not even sure if I can watch this...”
RK: “You big sissy, you – break ‘im in half!”
But hey, you may be wondering – where’s Joe gone? The answer is ‘nowhere’, for he comes hopping over Nightmare to Clothesline RA down to the ground!
JR: “Thank god!”
RK: “Bah.”
Together, Goldstone and Sane drag their opponents up by the hair and roll them into the ring, before sliding in after them. Nightmare remains down, but Rocky staggers back to his feet, and aims a Haymaker at Joe – but Goldstone ducks it, and gives RA a firm boot to the ribs, just as Sane begins to climb one of the corner posts. Joe hooks in a front facelock, and lifts Rocky up high, leaving him there with one hand, unbelievably...and Sane takes off...AND CONNECTS WITH THE SANITY BREAKER ON NIGHTMARE! JUST AS GOLDSTONE LAYS OUT DAVIS WITH THE JACKHAMMER!
JR: “For the love of – double pin!”
RK: “DAMMIT!”
1 (x2) !
2 (x2) !
3 (x2) ! And there’s the bell!
TH2: “Ladies and gentlemen, your winners – Joe Goldstone and Justin Sane!”
Joe and Justin make a point of rolling Nightmare and RA out of the ring before letting the ref raise their arms. Ref Greene hands Justin back his Xtreme belt, whilst the timekeeper quietly returns the Intercontinental title to the barely-awake Rocky Davis.
JR: “A decisive – “
RK: “Fluke!”
JR: “ – victory for Justin Sane and Joe Goldstone!”
RK: “I’m calling the fluke card!”
JR: “It was a clean pin on both opponents in the middle of the ring!”
RK: “So what? Goldy used the ‘fluke’ excuse, so RA can too.”
JR: “Urgh...speaking of ‘Goldy’, it seems we’re about to hear from him...”
Indeed, Goldstone’s got a mic, and uses it to shout stuff.
JG: “Hey! HEY! Y’hear me, ‘King’ Rocky?”
It’s debatable as to whether or not Rocky can hear anything right now. Regardless, Goldstone continues.
JG: “Well, I hope you remember these next few words good: we’re even now. But that ain’t good enough. So you just watch yourself...’cause sooner or later, I’m gonna stomp you good AGAIN! BLARGH!”
The cameras focus on Joe staring down smugly at the reeling RA. Soon, with JG out of the ringside area, we see Nightmare getting to his feet and staring angrily at the recovering RA as well. With a facial expression that makes it look like he was sick to his stomach, he picks up RA to his reluctance. Eventually, with Rocky Davis on his feet, Nightmare reels him in with a hard knee to the gut.
JR: “Oh my goodness, Nightmare just kneed his own tag team partner!”
RA is on spaghetti legs and Nightmare hauls him up and deliver the Go To Sleep. Rocky Davis is laid out yet again and Nightmare snarls in frustration before his music hits and he heads to the backstage area. Uncharacteristically, the crowd actually cheers for Nightmare after he delivered his patented finisher.
RK: “Whoa. Talk about being pissed off eh JR? Well folks we gotta take a short break. More Warzone after this, yeah.”
X-WCW cuts to commercials while the referee tries to revive the knocked out Rocky Davis.
Backstage
We see Samantha Valiant talking to someone on the phone as she walks down the corridors backstage. All of a sudden, she was halted by something standing in her way. She puts down her cell phone to look at the two men blocking her way which turns out to be Static and Cruel.
Static: “Hey homie, look, it’s dat bitch who was dissin on us a few weeks back.”
Cruel: “Hey lady, mind trying to pull that shit on us again? C’mon, tell us again why we five years behind our time though we still keep it real, ho.”
Samantha has a very unimpressed look on his face and folds her arms on her chest before she replies to the duo.
SV: “You know boys, I’ve said what I have said. You guys seem to be out of the times already. Really, who cares about rappers trying to pop some sucka or whatever the hell you call it outside the ring? They care about rappers who have sex appeal these days. Heck, even old gangsters…or GANG-STA’S like Ice Cube started to make some family friendly movies to get with the times. So if I was either both of you and I want to be marketable here in the X-WCW, I’d get with the damn program already and ditch the whole rapper gimmick. I mean, we have enough Karl Ballers inside the company already.”
Static: “Yo. We keep it real to how we are, we don’t bow down and kiss up to corporate high horses like you. We don’t care if we marketable…we care about kicking some..”
SV: “Yeah, I guess you don’t care to be marketable at all. Do you care about being taken seriously? Then start heading back to grammar school and learn how to pronounce simple words correctly. I’ve wasted enough time here gentlemen, and you know that. Talk to me again if you boys won’t lose to a skinny turd like that ok? Now if you’ll excuse me…”
She passes through both of them while she pulls up her cell phone to make a phone call. The two men shake their heads.
Static: “Bitch, please…”
X-WCW World Championship
Tony Bonito (c) vs. Cane Deathscream
THII: “This next match is for the X-WCW Championship!!!”
JR: “Welcome back to the 35th episode of X-WCW WARZONE!!!”
RK: “Man, what a way to celebrate the 35th show, JR. We won’t be seeing just one match for the X-WCW Championship, we will be seeing TWO for the night!”
JR: “That is true, King. In an unprecedented move by the X-WCW BoD, alongside the consent of the champ himself, Tony Bonito will be in two different title matches for the same belt.”
“Deadly game” starts to play in the ringside speakers and Cane Deathscream enters through the curtains.
THII: “Introducing the challenger, from parts unknown…CANE DEATHSCREAM!!!”
The fans give him a mostly positive reaction as he makes his way down the rampway.
JR: “Cane Deathscream, the imposing presence of the nTo, is making his way down the ring.”
RK: “Ever since Chris Back and D-Extreme were out, the man held the reigns of the nTo, and have led them through times of obscurity. I do agree with Tony’s thoughts about the nTo. While Cane is leading them, they have done nothing but loose to the Revolution. Tonight, this man has a lot to prove. Winning this match would be a big step for the nTo and Cane to get the advantage over Bonito and the Revolution. He knows how high the stakes are worth in this match.”
Cane enters the ring and goes to one corner of the ring. We see the big man eyeing the stage and waits for his opponent to come out. Guitar riffs of “Fury of the storm” by shadows fall plays before we see a figure emerging from the curtains. Tony Bonito comes out with two belts slung on both of his shoulders as he casts his head down.
THII: “And his opponent, from Boston Massachusetts, he is the X-WCW Champion and holder of the Tony Bonito world heavyweight championship, TONY BONITO!!!”
The fans boo loudly as Bonito points up to the sky and initiate the red, white, and blue pyros shooting up into the air. Afterwards, he makes his way down the ramp to the “Nito Sucks” chant from the audience.
JR: “Tony Bonito is the current X-WCW Champion and also the holder of his OWN heavyweight championship. How self-centered can one man get, King?”
RK: “I don’t know about that JR. I mean it took him YEARS just to get that title on his waist. I think the Tony Bonito Championship is a way for him to celebrate his win last Starrcade: Revolution. For a man as decorated and talented as Bonito, I tell you that he does deserve it. He might have done terrible things like injure D-Ex and Poor Mr. Back, but I don’t think he is such a bad guy apart from that.”
JR: “Oh yeah, I do agree, King. I mean, he’s not a bad guy because he used a weed whacker on Chris Back to take him out. He brutally assaulted D-Extreme’s leg to put him out for almost 2 years. Hell, he even got to the ear of one John Crook to lead the Revolution, not a bad guy at all…”
RK: “Now you’re just being sarcastic.”
Bonito gets into the ring and climbs up the ropes. There, he lifts both of his titles into the air and lets out a savage roar directed to the audience. The fans continue to chant and boo Tony Bonito as he stays on the top turnbuckle. Eventually, as his music dies down, he climbs down to the ringside area to surrender both of his belts to the ring official.
JR: “These men have never met in a one on one situation, King.”
RK: “Well it’s time to see who will get the upperhand, JR. Will it be Cane, a former X-WCW Champion in his own merit with his strength and size? Will it be Tony Bonito, who is the current champ and so far can go hold for hold with almost ANYONE inside the squared circle?”
JR: “Time to find out!”
The bell rings to signal the commencement of the match. Both men go into the center of the ring and lock up. A couple of seconds go on and both men struggle to get the advantage. Eventually, Cane uses his strength to send Bonito into the corner while they are in the collar elbow tie-up. He breaks up the hold and delivers some chops to the chest of the champion. Bonito fights back with some chops of his own and leaves the corner. Cane catches a fist of Bonito and uses his free hand to deliver a thrusting blow towards the throat of Bonito. Bonito falls down but he gathers himself up, only to be taken down yet again with a throat thrust. Cane lifts him up to his feet and sets him up for a sidewalk slam. However, Bonito hits some chops and an elbow strike to the gut to make him let go. He goes behind Cane Deathscream and takes him down Greco-roman style.
JR: “He takes down his opponent with the waist-lock takeover and would you look at that King..ugh.”
RK: “Haha! He’s slapping Cane around his head!”
Bonito gets up with a vicious smirk across his lips and waits for Cane to get to his feet. As Cane slowly gets up, he is cut mid-way with a running knee strike across his face. The fans boo as Bonito laughs while Cane falls to the mat yet again. Cane slowly gets to his feet and Bonito tries to charge at him. He gets caught with a boot to the face and he falls down. Cane Deathscream waits for TB to recover before he catches him with a boot to the mid-section and delivers a bodyslam for a follow-up move.
JR: “Cane Deathscream throws Bonito to the mat with that body slam. He goes over Bonito and starts to unload some boots on him as he gets up.”
RK: “Deathscream is using his strength and power to get the advantage and with good reason. If he tries to even attempt a submission move or try to grapple Bonito this early on, it’ll bring forth dire consequences.”
Bonito is up and Deathscream knees him to the gut before he bounces off the ropes for a clothesline. Bonito ducks the clothesline and grabs Deathscream from behind. Before Cane knew it, he is sent into the air with a belly to back suplex. Both men get up and Deathscream charges at Bonito again. TB scouts him and takes him down with a single leg takedown before he goes over to his arm for an armbar. TB quickly floats over and tries to apply the ankle lock, but Cane Deathscream kicks him out of the way.
RK: “Oh boy, did you see that JR? Bonito is tempted to slap that submission move early into this match.”
JR: “True, King. Bonito was that close to getting the submission move locked in on the ankle of one Cane Deathscream.”
Bonito charges at the recovering Cane Deathscream to deliver a couple of clubbing blows to the back and some chops to the chest. He tries to send CD into the ropes, but the whip is reversed. Cane takes down the returning TB with a shoulder block before he bounces off the ropes to take him down again with the same move. Cane Deathscream tries to pick up Bonito, only to be tripped by using the legs to take him down. Tony Bonito has Cane held up by the legs and delivers some kicks to the leg area of Cane before he lets go.
RK: “He is starting to target those long legs of his opponent, JR. I fear that this is the beginning of the end if Cane won’t counteract soon.”
JR: “If you let your opponent work on one part of your body, King, that is dangerous.”
Cane slowly gets to his feet, but Bonito is there to take him down yet again after he delivers a sweeping kick at the back of Cane’s right leg. Cane falls down the mat and favors his right leg that Bonito grabs and puts in a leg lock. Cane struggles to get out of the hold that Bonito eventually releases after a few seconds. Bonito waits for Cane Deathscream to get up and he tries to grab a hold of the same leg again, Cane delivers a punishing elbow strike to the face of Bonito that sends the champion staggering backwards. Cane Deathscream reels Bonito in and sends him violently down to the mat with a clothesline.
JR: “BAH GAWD! That clothesline turned the champ inside out!”
Tony Bonito slowly gets himself up, only to be hit by a hard throat thrust by Cane. He falls down to the mat yet again before he is collected to his feet by his opponent. Cane grabs Bonito and slams him to the canvas with a sidewalk slam. He hooks the leg for the pinfall.
JR: “Here is the pin…1….2…and Bonito gets a shoulder up.”
Cane Deathscream gets up first and seems to be favoring his right leg. He waits for Tony Bonito to get to his feet before he approaches the champion. He kicks him hard on the chest cavity before he pulls him near and sets up for a powerbomb. However, before he could lift Bonito, TB delivers some hard punches to the side of Cane’s right leg. Eventually he back body drops Cane to the mat before he goes over and stomps down on the targeted leg.
RK: “That leg doesn’t seem to hold out much longer, JR.”
JR: “Cane tried to deliver the rising cane on Bonito, but he just didn’t have the strength right now. TB is surely targeting the right leg of his challenger.”
He grabs onto the leg yet again and this time wraps it in a figure four leg lock. Seconds later, we could see Cane Deatshcream shouting in pain as Bonito puts the pressure on the right leg. The referee approaches them to ask the challenger if he is going to quit. Violently, Cane shakes his head to signal that he is not going to submit for now and inches towards the nearby ropes to break the hold. Tony Bonito holds onto the move until the referee counts to 4. Fearing the DQ call, he lets go before the 5th count and gets to his feet. The X-WCW champion heads up to the turnbuckle and stands on the top turnbuckle. However, before he could launch himself off, Cane hits him and he gets crotched on the corner while Cane heads to the second rope and superplexes TB out of the corner.
JR: “Bonito was looking for a high risk maneuver there, but he got cut off by Cane.”
RK: “Totally changed the momentum and pace of this match, JR. The question now is, to who’s favor exactly?”
Both men slowly get to their feet and Bonito delivers a couple of kicks to the right leg of Cane. TB tries to send Cane somewhere, but Cane reels him in and violently hits a knee to the champion’s gut. With TB stunned, Cane attempts to whip him into the corner, but it is reversed. Deathscream hits the corner instead and Tony Bonito charges at him for a corner splash. Deathscream gets out of the way and TB eats the turnbuckle. Cane peels TB off of the turnbuckle with a neckbreaker. Bonito is down while Deathscream hobbles towards him to pick him up. However, as soon as Deathscream grabs Bonito, he is rolled into a pinning predicament.
RK: “He has him in a pin..1….2…and NO! Cane kicked out!”
Bonito waits for Cane to get up before he charges at him. Cane attempts a big boot, but Tony Bonito avoids it and grabs the man from behind. Without warning, Tony Bonito slams Cane to the mat with the nitoplex.
JR: “NITOPLEX!!! BAH GAWD!!!”
With Cane Deathscream down on the mat, Bonito pulls down both straps and unleashes a primal roar to the behest of the crowd. He goes over Cane’s leg and applies the ankle lock. Cane struggles to fight the pain of the hold and shakes his head once the referee asks him if he does want to call it quits. Tony Bonito tightens the hold and goes so far to do a leg scissor on the leg he is applying the submission hold on. Seconds later, Cane folds in and taps his hand on the mat to signal defeat.
RK: “Cane taps and Bonito wins this one!”
At the signal of the referee, the bell rings and Tony Bonito slowly releases the hold as he hears his music being played around the ringside area. He gets up to his feet and retrieves the two belts that he raises in the air in victory.
JR: “He has done it tonight, King. He successfully defended the title, but he is not out of the crossfire yet. Still to come tonight folks, Tony Bonito will defend the same set of titles against Karl Baller. Stay tuned folks, more Warzone after these messages!”
Warzone heads to commercials as Bonito celebrates in the ring.
X-WCW World Tag Team Championship
3-Way Tag Team Ladder Match
The Final Frontier (c) vs StarStorm vs RNR
TH2: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall – and it is for the X-WCW World Tag Team Championship!”
Filmstar, proppin up the bar, something with an ‘ar’,
I don’t know the words to this flippin’ song...
(Note: How come nobody else’s lyrics HAVE to be put in with their entrances, eh? Favouritism!)
...Anyway! Apropos of nothing, a crowd of shrieking, OK!-magazine-reading females suddenly swamp the stage, heralding the arrival of two of the baddest men in town. Yup, they’re even badder than LeRoy Brown. Whoever that was. And they are...
TH2: “First, making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 475 pounds...from Huntington Beach, California, ‘The Playboy’ Brett Rayne...from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, ‘the Revolution in Evolution’ R.E. Rage...they are R-N-R!”
RK: “I feel Terri could have announced them with greater...enthusiasm.”
JR: “Well, for some extraordinary reason that I just can’t fathom, it seems your favourite tandem have yet to impress our dear announcer.”
RK: “They’re not my favourite – wait...Powerbomb were disbanded...and they were fat as hell before then...”
JR: “You see?”
RK: “...Seriously, why the HELL did I ever care about Powerbomb?!”
Rage and Rayne make a grand show of posing and posturing on their way down the entrance ramp, making all the girls mock-swoon (they’re plants, obviously) before hopping up onto the apron and unzipping their custom hoodies, revealing...title belts?
JR: “But...But Final Frontier won the tag titles back!”
RK: “Ha! I KNEW it was all just a nightmare!”
JR: “Wait...oh, for the love of...those aren’t the tag titles.”
Indeed, Rage and Rayne’s belts are brand new designs, with the X-WCW logos replaced by words like ‘SEXY’ and ‘DAMN!’. The two men throw their arms up as thousands of cherry-blossom petals fall down from the rafters to blanket the audience. Don’t get it? Well, it’s...y’know...cherries. Losing them. Think about it...aaaaand you’re there. With that done, they step into the ring, and Brett snatches Terri’s mic from her.
BR: “So...heh. You like what you see, folks? I mean, I think anyone with eyes and breasts can see, without a shadow of a doubt, that we make gold work better than any pair of geeks could ever manage!”
Boo, hiss.
BR: “Just so Jimmy and Randy – “
JR: “HEY!”
BR: “ – know what they’re commentating on – and so li’l Terri Horse-teeth over here knows how to announce us next time – here you go; you’ve seen the boring old TV champion already...but now, RNR are officially the Too Hot For TV champions!”
With that wave of smugness, Brett hands the mic to R.E.
RR: “And at the risk of copyright infringement, if you ain’t down with that, we got two words for ya!”
Rage points to the crotch of his tights, upon which is written...something we shouldn’t say aloud on public TV. It’s about naughty stuff. Rage also does a pelvic thrust, just for emphasis.
JR: “That is...uncalled for on so many different levels.”
RK: “Jealous much, loser?”
Finally, Terri gets her mic back, as ‘Enemy’ by Fozzy begins to play. Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t improve the mood of the audience much.
TH2: “And their opponents; first, at an unknown combined weight, from Parts Unknown...Raven Darkstorm and Alec Lightstar, Starstorm!”
RK: “Y’know...They may have gotten rid of Powerbomb, but...”
JR: “But they’re not nTo?”
RK: “Worse – they’re goths.”
Raven and Alec stride out from backstage to little fanfare, manky hair dripping with primordial ooze and iron pipes gripped tightly in their fists. They share no words or glances as they stride to the ring, and this silence only serves to demonstrate the depth of their bond. Either that or they’re mute. As they slide under the ropes, they nod almost imperceptibly to RNR, who give very exaggerated winks back, thusly making their intentions clear to everyone.
JR: “Well, I’d hoped that the lure of the gold would stop these two tandems from ganging up on their opponents, but...I’ve been wrong before.”
RK: “Funny how you never admit to it, though...”
Two down, one to go! Endeverafter’s ‘No More Words’ begins to play, and...
TH2: “And at a combined weight of 455 pounds...they are the X-WCW World Tag Team champions...”
MASSIVE F***ING POP FTW!
TH2: “From Melbourne, Florida, Autobot Jazz...from Seattle, Washington, SciFiMan...”
Two figures appear on the stage, backlit so they look to be silhouettes...
TH2: “They are the FINAAAALLL FRON-TIIIIEEEEERRR!”
And there they are, Jazz’ t-shirt emblem glowing crimson, SciFiMan’s cape billowing in some mysterious indoor wind. The tag belts – the REAL tag belts, I hasten to add – gleam with reflective gold brilliance at their waists. With a salute to the fans, they rush the ring, never thinking once of the possibly overwhelming odds, not even upon stepping into the ring and instantly coming under attack from StarStorm, who swing their pipes with wild abandon – and very little accuracy, as AJ and SFM duck the swings, spin around and kick both halves of StarStorm in the gut, before grabbing them by the scruff of their necks and tossing them over the top ropes! Belatedly, the bell rings, as Jazz and SciFi turn to square up to RNR. Rage and Rayne, funnily enough, aren’t looking quite so confident now.
JR: “Now we’ll see how those posers handle the greatest tag champs in X-WCW history! And will someone please get those ridiculous belts off them?”
RK: “No way! They’re sexy!”
JR: “Do you even hear yourself talking, man?!”
With a startling show of nearly-genuine courage, RNR dash forwards to meet their foes head-on – and promptly get punched in the face, much to the crowd’s amusement.
RK: “NO! Not the faces!”
AJ and SFM send Rage and Rayne staggering backwards, then look to bounce off the ropes for some clothesline momentum – but alas, Raven and Alec grab at their ankles from the outside. A quick pair of kicks through the ropes sees to them, but as the Final Frontier turn back to their prey, Rage and Rayne nail them both with the Too Hot For TV (let’s just say THTV from now on, ‘kay?) belts!
JR: “Despicable use of those fake belts!”
RK: “They’re stylish AND practical!”
To nobody’s surprise, Brett and R.E. look much more chipper all of a sudden, as they kick AJ and SFM out of the ring, then step out themselves, instantly going to look for something interesting under the ring whilst StarStorm help themselves to a ladder. Jazz barely staggers to his feet before Raven and Alec rush him, catching him in the gut with the edge of the ladder! AJ doubles over – and regrets it, as the ladder is then smacked straight across his spine! Jazz’ cry of pain is awful enough to extract winces even from the battle-hardened mob of sickos that attend our shows. Meanwhile, SciFi recovers, and charges Rage, who only gets the time to blink in surprise before finding SFM perched on his shoulders; but before the Hurricanrana can be pulled off, Brett cracks a Singapore cane off the back of SFM’s skull, and the reeling hero is then Powerbombed straight down to the concrete with a terrible THUD!
JR: “Oh my sweet aunt Petunia! The Final Frontier could be out of this contest already!”
RK: “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
Rage and Rayne laugh at their handiwork, before grabbing another ladder positioned at ringside and sliding it into the ring. Meanwhile, StarStorm double-Hiptoss AJ onto their ladder with a horriying CRACK, before Alec kneels down and grabs Jazz around the throat for Raven to deliver further kickings. These kickings do not come, however, as Raven nudges his brother before gesturing broadly to the ring, where Rage and Rayne are setting up their ladder beneath the hanging belts (which somehow magicked off the waists of Jazz and SciFi a couple minutes ago when you weren’t paying attention).
JR: “Oh-ho, it looks like ‘the plan’ didn’t include that particular detail...”
RK: “Eh...it’s not like the geeks are gonna make a difference now, anyway.”
So, whilst Alec decides to wail on AJ’s head all by himself, Raven slides into the ring, and pulls Rage off the ladder’s second rung before getting into a shouting match. Rage’s body language just screams ‘whatever’ as he shoves Raven away – and Brett Rayne’s body language is pure ‘sucker!’ as he cracks Raven’s jaw with the Playboy Pose Superkick! Raven falls like a brick as Rage and Rayne have a jolly old laugh. All this serves to distract Alec Lightstar, however, who makes the mistake of looking away from Autobot Jazz – only for AJ to twist around and catch Lightstar with a snappy kick to the head!
JR: “StarStorm aren’t having much luck with other peoples’ boots tonight...”
RK: “Faces that ugly were made to be kicked.”
Brett indicates that AJ is getting up, and R.E. takes a brief run-up before launching into a Baseball Slide – which misses as Jazz nips to the side! The TF geek qucikly grabs a fistful of Rage’s hair and repeatedly slams the arrogant buffoon’s head off the edge of the apron, nose-first. AJ next sees Rayne clambering up the ladder, but his attempt to stop the Playboy backfires when Alec Lightstar pulls him back off the apron, AJ’s back colliding with the safety railing on the way down! Brett keeps climbing...climbing...
RK: “Yes! YES! Double champions a-go-go!”
JR: “Or...”
But there’s SciFiMan, springboarding off the ropes into a Dropkick which hits the side of the ladder! It leans, leans aaaannnd falls – but Brett hops off in the nick of ti – nope, wait, he got the top rope between his legs. Oof.
RK: “Right in the Nirvana Suppliers!”
JR: “That was – Nirvana WHAT?”
SciFi picks up the ladder, but is forced to drop it after a recovered Raven Darkstorm nails him with one of those damn iron pipes mentioned earlier. Outside the ring, Alec Lightstar roughly shoves both R.E. Rage and Autobot Jazz over the railings and into the crowd, before heading back to the ring, reaching under it to remove...A TABLE!
JR: “Oh look, a picnic table!”
RK: “...Pardon?”
JR: *hums* “I am one with the Spirit of the Great Adamle...”
RK: “ARGH!”
Alec tosses the table at both AJ and R.E., successfully hitting both men with it. Raven, on the other hand, sticks the nearest ladder over his head and braces it against his shoulders, then spins helicopter-style, bringing pain to the brain-cases of both SciFi and Brett Rayne!
JR: “Both halves of DarkStorm are experienced in the hardcore ways of, um, the ECW...”
RK: “The ECW? Even I know that’s wrong! Snap out of it, man!”
JR: “And there’s a Snapping Mare!”
RK: “This is gonna be a long match...”
Indeed, Alec Lightstar just used a Snapmare to lay R.E. across that table of his, before giving AJ the same treatment; the table, somehow, doesn’t break under the strain. Back in the ring, all that spinning has worn out Raven, and he shrugs off the ladder, staggers a bit, then falls over. Meanwhile, Alec has set up the other ladder...outside the ring.
JR: “That’s no way to win a match! He might hurt someone!”
RK: “’Might’?”
The crowd steadily rumbles into life as Lightstar climbs the ladder...climbs, climbs, climbs some more, until he’s perched atop the thing, staring down towards the prone forms of Autobot Jazz and R.E. Rage. He takes a deep breath...
And leaps.
RK: “JESUS ****ING CUPCAKES!”
JR: “He must be at least five feet in the air!”
Alec spins backwards, falls – and NAILS THE SUPER NOVA THROUGH BOTH MEN AND THE TABLE FOR GOOD MEASURE! The crowd do their best “Holy ****” chant, as Raven Darkstorm stares across at the mass of splintered wood and crumpled bodies that his brother is a part of, shocked...and you know what else is shocking? Being hit in the back by the top of a ladder. Which is exactly what happens to Raven, courtesy of Brett Rayne, whose legs still aren’t totally uncrossed just yet. As Raven tumbles out of the ring, Brett sets the ladder up under the dangling belts and starts to climb – slowly, thanks to the aforementioned sore balls.
JR: “Rain could win here – “
RK: “Yeah! Go, uh, Rain!”
JR: “But here comes StarTrekMan!”
Indeed, SciFiMan is up, and starts to climb the ladder on the opposite side! Both Rayne and SFM gradually make their way up, and then, at the top, punching begins. Right! Left! Right! Le – oh wait, nobody throws left-handed punches in wrestling, do they? So it’s just lots of Right. After a few even exchanges, SciFi begins to get the upper hand, probably because he’s got superhuman strength and stuff – but Brett retaliates with a poke to the eye and OMG FLASH FLOOD OFF THE LADDER!
JR: “Flash Food by Bret Rain!”
RK: “No, James, a Flash FLOOD by Brett – double T – Rayne-with-a-Y. God, play-by-play’s hard work...”
Both Rayne and SciFi squirm and roll out of the ring after that spine-rattling impact, leaving the arena in near-silence for several moments...before the audience starts to murmur in disappointment, as the first bodies to stir and recuperate are those of Alec Lightstar and Raven Darkstorm.
JR: “DeathStar are the team to seize the seizable...opportunity for the win.”
RK: “Head asplode!”
Raven rolls into the ring, as Alec decides to slide the second ladder in just for good measure. Maybe they’re gonna stick both ladders together or something. Oh, wait...nope, they’re just lining both up beneath the belts, before both men head on up.
RK: “That’s, like, totally unnecessary – “
JR: “They’re showing the depth of a puddle. I mean, depth of feeling. For each other.”
RK: “If that had made sense, I’m sure I could’ve come up with a good joke about it.”
Alec and Raven look unstoppable...until Rage, AJ, SFM and Rayne all nearly simultaneously re-enter the ring and make a point of stopping them. This is accomplished when AJ and Rage grab hold of Alec’s legs and double-Powerbomb him CLEAR OVER THE ROPES, whilst Brett smacks one of the THTV belts across Raven’s lower back, before SciFi hops up off the second rope, grabs Raven’s head and delivers one nasty Neckbreaker! StarStorm look totally out of it as the worn-out forms of both RNR and the Final Frontier get their hands on the bottom few rungs and start to climb – Autobot Jazz and R.E. Rage on one ladder, SciFiMan and Brett Rayne sharing the other!
JR: “It’s tense like butter melting!”
RK: “You’ve gone from poor grammar to plain incoherence. How much worse can it get?”
JR: “Nut plan monkey!”
They move so staggeringly slowly you’d swear they didn’t actually want to reach the top – but reach it they do. Rage reaches for the belts, but Jazz catches him with a few stiff forearm shots; SciFi makes a grab, but Brett slams the hero’s skull onto the top of the ladder; R.E. rakes AJ’s eyes, then grabs the Transfan’s head in a front facelock, whilst Rayne hits SFM with that ridiculous THTV belt again! SciFi falls...
JR: “CARBON FIBRE CAMSHAFTS!”
RK: “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS! AND WHOA!”
But SciFi keeps ahold of the ladder with one hand, and swings his knee up – NAILING BRETT WITH THE PHOTON TORPEDO! And AJ rocks Rage with some elbow strikes – then lifts him onto his shoulders and drops him forward, USING THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO COMPLETE THE STASIS LOCK! Rayne and Rage fall in slow motion, and the Final Frontier...get the belts! Ring that funky bell!
TH2: “Here are your winners, and STILL the X-WCW World Tag Team Champions...THE FINALLLLL FRONTIERRRRR!”
JR: “A winner is you!”
RK: “Right, that’s it, I’ve heard enough...”
Randal stands up, grabs his chair, and smacks James in the face with it. The play-by-play guy no-sells it in a fashion that would impress Mark Henry.
RK: “Jimmy?”
JR: “Uwagh...better now. And don’t call me Jimmy.”
Autobot Jazz and SciFiMan man-hug atop the ladders, whilst thousands of fans scream their names and make gestures of praise
RK: “Yeah, yeah, the geeks won, good for ‘em, but let’s not forget that RNR are STILL the Too Hot For TV Champions!”
JR: “I have a horrible suspicion that they – and you, Randal – will not let anyone forget that fact for quite some time. But right now, the message is clear; no other team in X-WCW can touch the Final Frontier. And with that, folks, it’s time for another commerce-WHAT THE?!”
Just then, we see The Renegade, Powermaster Prime, and Bombshell running down the ramp. They wait for AJ and SFM to get down from the ladders before the three pounce on them. For Starstorm, Rage and Rayne wait for them to get to their feet before blasting AL and RD with their respective THFTV Belts.”
RK: “Talk about ‘too hot for tv’ title smashes on the bases of both Starstorm members’ skull, huh JR?”
RNR and the rest of the Revolution have the upper hand in this supposed 4-on-5 beatdown that is until the rest of the nTo storm down to ringside. The Revolution members flee the ring as soon as the nTo hits it.
JR: “Look at those dastardly revolution members, walking back up the ramp like cowards.”
RK: “Cowards? They did what they had to do, JR, and that was to leave a statement.”
While the Revolution members walk up the ramp, we see John Crook appear behind them via the X-Tron.
JC: “Nice try, nTo, but you losers should know that it’s only through trying to chase us out in the ring where you can be good at. However, let me remind you guys one thing, the Revolution has the gold and ALL the power in the X-WCW. While the nTo has...NOTHING!”
Crook laughs like a madman as he is still shown on the X-Tron while we see RNR hold their THFTV Titles up in the air once they and the rest of the Revolution are at the stage area. Inside the ring, we see a recovering foursome of Starstorm and Final Frontier. In the middle of the ring stands an angered Cane Deathscream, who is gritting his teeth in contempt.
JR: “You could tell, the nTo and Cane Deathscream are not taking Crook’s comments very lightly.”
RK: “Yeah, I bet he’s about to cry and head back to mommy deathscream any minute now.”
JR: “Ugh, whatever king. Folks, stay tune, more Warzone right after this.”
X-WCW goes to commercials while we see a disheartened nTo leave the ringside area after the Revolution did so seconds ago.
X-WCW World Championship Match
Tony Bonito © vs Karl Baller
X-WCW comes back from the commercials to see the ringside area anticipating for tonight’s main event.
THII: “This next match is for the X-WCW Championship and it’s scheduled for one fall!”
JR: “Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen for tonight’s main event.”
RK: “It’s another title defense for Tony Bonito, JR. Right now I don’t feel so confident of his chances defending his title twice in one night. But this is the X-WCW, and anything could happen here as we know.”
“Hate it or luv” plays and Karl Baller comes out to the delight of the fans.
THII: “Introducing first, the challenger. He hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania , KARL BALLER!!!”
KB starts to make his way down the aisle, but all of a sudden we see Tony Bonito coming out of the backstage area and running towards KB. From behind, he attacks KB and sends the man down while he stomps down on his opponent.
JR: “What in the world is going on here?”
RK: “Tony Bonito using his smarts, JR, that’s what!”
KB gets up to his feet and fights back with fists of his own. Both men fight their way up the ramp as the fans cheer. Bonito blocks a punch and head butts KB. With KB dazed, he grabs Baller and drags him near the stage. He has Baller by the head and tries to drive him face-first onto the wall of the stage. KB blocks it and delivers some hard elbow shots to the face of TB to make him let go. TB releases his hold and KB delivers a hard knee to the side of Bonito before he grabs Bonito by the head and drags him into the backstage area.
JR: “Seems like TB and KB are gonna go at it backstage!”
RK: “Good! Now send in some camera crews there so we can actually see the carnage going on in there.”
The WARtron flashes on and we see footage of the backstage corridors where TB and KB are beating each other up with clubs and punches. Karl Baller scouts a punch from TB and avoids it before he grabs Bonito by the arm and sends him crashing towards the pile of steel pipes. TB falls to the ground while a couple of the iron pipes fall over him. Karl Baller starts to stomp down on the champion while he is on the heap.
RK: “Baller is lucky, JR, the bell hasn’t rung yet to start the match officially.”
JR: “Regardless of the match starting or not, he does seem a bit furious of Bonito trying to sneak in from behind to get an advantage. In my view, Bonito brought this up for himself. Had he done the right thing and did not ambush Baller, they would have been in the ring and fighting properly.”
RK: “No doubt, JR. The unconventional style of fighting is something of KB’s advantage on Bonito.”
Bonito is pulled up by KB, but the champ delivers some hard shots to the abdomen area of KB. Karl Baller is shoved out of the way by Bonito. Bonito charges at Karl and violently sends him back-first on the wall. KB slumps on the wall while Bonito delivers some vicious kicks to the chest and upper body portion of the former X-WCW Champion. Tony Bonito backs up and tries to deliver a running knee strike, only to have KB roll out of the way. TB stops himself from hitting the wall with his knee and turns around. It was too late as Karl Baller is up and delivers a hard clothesline that sends the champion down momentarily.
JR: “Vicious clothesline by Karl Baller!”
KB picks up Tony Bonito and they go through the nearby door. The room they enter is revealed to be a room wherein a couple of X-WCW stage hands are seen eating on a couple of tables that are set up inside. These stage hands leave their chairs in shock as the two wrestlers intrude their privacy of eating. KB grabs Bonito by the head and slams him face first into a plate full of food. When he lifts Bonito’s head up, pieces of pasta falls over the champ’s face before Baller tries again. TB uses his hands and places them on the table to stop the move. TB grabs a plate nearby and tosses it right across the face of Karl Baller. Baller is temporarily blinded by the food attack and it gives ample time for Bonito to deliver a hard knee towards KB’s gut. Bonito holds onto KB’s head before he slams it a couple of times on the wooden table. He drags KB towards the doorway and sends him rolling to the corridors once more.
RK: “I guess both men just finished eating their pre-match meals, JR.”
Bonito halts mid-way and smears off parcels of food that remain on his face. He leaves the dining area and approaches a recovering Karl Baller. Bonito tries to grab KB, but Karl lights him up with some hard chops to the chest. KB reels TB in for a clothesline and the champ goes down. Karl picks up Tony Bonito, only to receive a thumb across his eye. TB backs away from KB and appears to be heading back to ringside.
JR: “Oh would you look at that King? The champ is heading back here, I wonder why? Took enough beating from KB?”
Baller catches up to Bonito and both come to blows as they pass the curtains. They return to ringside with a loud ovation from the crowd but it seems they are too busy fighting each other out.
JR: “Their out of ring activity might be over from this point, King. Both men are brawling their way into the ring!”
RK: “With such fighting spirit too, JR! These two really hate each other.”
Both men are now a couple of feet outside of the ring and continue to trade punches, clubs to the back and even forearms to the face of the other while the fans are still cheering. At one point, Bonito delivers a kick to the mid-section of Baller and grabs him on the back of the head before rolling him into the ring. Bonito slides into the ring and the referee signals for the bell to be rung.
JR: “The bell has sounded and the match has officially kicked off!”
RK: “We saw the out of ring altercation between these two, now it’s time to see how they would settle their issue in the ring.”
Bonito waits for KB to get to his feet to deliver a clothesline. Karl Baller avoids the said clothesline by ducking down and capturing Bonito by the waist. TB is quick to respond with a lightning quick standing switch before he locks on KB’s waist. Bonito, with Baller at his grasps, takes him down to the mat. As soon as KB is on the mat, however, he wriggles about and quickly goes over Bonito to apply a headlock. Both men get to their feet and TB slowly gets out of the headlock and converts it with an armbar to KB. KB slowly, but surely, converts the armbar into one of his own. Tony Bonito lets out a grunt before he uses his free hand to deliver some knife-edge chops to the chest of KB. KB lets go of the hold and is whipped towards the corner.
RK: “Surprising exchange of holds by both men, JR. I know Bonito could do it, but KB?”
JR: “I think you’re selling Karl Baller short, King. He is a proven man here in the X-WCW. He knows how to hang with the big guys such as Tony Bonito, hence why he was the former champ.”
RK: “Well, as KB is hitting the corner, I wonder why TB is taking his time.”
As if he anticipated it already, Bonito captures KB on his shoulder as the man floats over the corner. TB turns around and slams KB to the mat with a running powerslam. KB winces in pain while he sits up the mat. Sadly, the man shouldn’t have sit up as it gave TB the window of opportunity to deliver a hard kick to the back of his opponent. The kick echoes throughout the arena floor, generating a few ‘oooh’s from the capacity crowd.
RK: “Man that was a stiff kick to the back of Karl Baller. Surely, he’d feel that all night.”
TB slowly gathers KB to his feet and delivers some hard forearm smashes to his face. He sets KB up for a suplex and it connects. Tony Bonito waits for KB to get to his feet before he tries to run towards him. KB catches the champion and takes him to the mat with a deep amrdrag takedown. TB gets to his feet and yet again receives an armdrag for his troubles. Bonito heads to the corner upon his ascendance from the mat and Karl Baller follows him there. Once TB backs himself into the corner, he waits for KB to approach him before he lays some hard kicks to the gut of his opponent.
JR: “Like a trap waiting to spring up, Tony Bonito drew his opponent at the corner and starts to waylay him with kicks to the mid-section.”
Tony Bonito grabs the stunned KB and places him on the corner before he continues to deliver some hard kicks and punches. He sits KB on the top turnbuckle and starts to climb the second rope. He grabs onto Karl Baller and is looking to deliver a belly to belly from the corner.
RK: “Oh my goodness, don’t tell me he’s going to try THAT on the corner.”
JR: “We have seen Bonito do this a couple of times already, King. So I am sure he WOULD do something like this.”
Bonito sets KB up on the corner for the belly to belly suplex, but KB fights back with a couple of headbutts at TB. TB gets groggy and slowly looses of his grip before his eventual fall towards the mat. KB, on the other hand, stumbles out of the top rope and leans back on the corner momentarily. Baller heads over to the recovering TB and rains down on the clubs to the back. He grabs Bonito and whips him into the ropes. TB bounces off the ropes and is taken down by a spinning forearm smash by Baller.
JR: “Baller with the forearm smash and it takes Bonito down!”
RK: “Did you see that mid-air spin, JR?! WOW!”
While Bonito is slowly getting to his feet, Karl Baller bounces off the ropes. TB is up and Baller comes back to deliver a spinning headscisors that TB counters into a sidewalk slam. Bonito slowly gets to his feet and waits for KB to get to his feet before he grabs him and tries to deliver the nitoplex.
JR: “Bonito is trying to get KB with the Nitoplex, King.”
RK: “Here comes trouble for Baller.”
Bonito fails to connect the nitoplex as KB drives his elbow right across his face. Bonito lets go and this gives KB the time to take him down with a dropkick.
JR: “Karl Baller takes down Bonito with that dropkick after narrowly avoiding the nitoplex.”
KB waits for Bonito to get up. On the other side, we see Bonito slowly getting up while the referee is observing him do so. Eventually, the X-WCW Champion gets to his feet and KB springs to action and attempts a jumping side kick on him. As fate would have it, however, Bonito avoids the kick and it would be the referee who would suffer the kick instead.
RK: “Man, he wiped the referee out with that kick, JR.”
JR: “My goodness, he surely did.”
Bonito charges at KB, who quickly back body drops him over the ropes. TB crashes down to the outside of the ring while KB turns around to check on the referee. On the outside, TB slowly gets to his feet and scrambles towards the announce table to grab one of his two belts.
JR: “just what is he doing?!”
RK: “Holding his prized possessions maybe?”
TB slides back into the ring while KB is still busy reviving the referee. TB makes a charge for it and knocks KB on the back of his head with the title. The fans boo loudly as KB slumps down on the mat and Bonito slides the belt to the outside.
RK: “Man, talk about déjà vu. Didn’t the same thing happen to KB on Starrcade?”
JR: “You’re damn right it did and TB has screwed him again on this night.”
The referee has been revived and Bonito drags the unconscious KB in the middle of the ring and locks on the ankle lock. With KB passed out, we see no signs of struggle as the submission hold is applied. A few seconds later, the referee rings the bell to end the match.
THII: “The winner as a result of a knock out, TONY BONITO!!!”
“Fury of the storm” blares throughout the speakers as the fans start to chant ‘bullshit’ at the winner. The referee collects the two belts of Bonito at ringside before they are handed to TB.
JR: “This is sheer mockery, King. Bonito just did the same damn stunt that he pulled on Starrcade: Revolution and I bet he’s sure damn proud of himself right now.”
The fans continue to boo and chant ‘Bullshit’ while TB celebrates his win by going up the rampway and having a grin stapled on his face. Inside the ring, Karl Baller is helped up by the ring official.
JR: “Karl Baller is a resilient competitor, King. Things like this keep on happening to him, and you know he does not for one deserve to be cheated this way.”
RK: “I dunno, JR. You can say Bonito cheated, but it ain’t cheating until you get caught in the act. Bonito got away with it tonight, and he lives another day as the champion. Man, he’s so smart.”
The scene fades out from ringside as we now head to the backstage area.
In the nTo’s locker room
Cane Deathscream, Alec Lightstar, Raven Darkstorm, The Real Deal, and Josh Leyh are sitting around they all look depressed by the defeats and their failures to recapture the various X-WCW titles. They are silent until TRD finally speaks.
TRD: “What do we do now, Cane?”
Cane sits up in his chair. He looks at TRD.
CD: “I don’t know. Every time we get a little momentum it’s squashed by Crook and the Revolution. Maybe he’s right maybe we should disband.”
The rest mutter in agreement when the locker room door busts open a familiar voice is heard, it’s Christopher Back and D-Extreme standing in the door way on crutches.
CB: “Over…my…dead…body!”
The rest of the nTo members stand up in disbelief.
CD: “I thought two were still healing.”
D-EX: “We are. But we decided to visit you all and tell you good news: they have agreed to come Ground Zero IV.”
JL: “Who?”
Back and D-Extreme stare at TRD, Leyh, Lightstar, and Darkstorm who all have a puzzled look on their faces.
CB: “The most dangerous tag team in the history of this business, it took a lot of convincing but they have agreed to come to Ground Zero IV, but only if they can challenge Crook and Bonito in the main event for the X-WCW Championship.”
CD: “You know Crook and Bonito will never agree to that.”
D-EX: “On Nitro #25 you will challenge any member of the Revolution to a cage match and add the stipulation that when you win you pick the main event for Ground Zero IV. And in the unlikely event that you lose the nTo will disband forever. The rest of you will make sure that there are no screw jobs.”
CB: “Cane we have had our differences in the past but you know what is at stake here and I know that you won’t let us down, because if you fail they will tear you apart at Ground Zero IV.”
RD: “Who is this tag team?”
D-Ex: “The most feared team in history.”
CB: “I almost feel sorry for Crook and Bonito when they get into the ring with those guys, they’re crazier than anyone in this company.”
Cane looks up and smiles at his friends.
CD: “On Nitro #25 the Revolution won’t know what hit them.”
D-EX: “Excellent!”
Christopher Back just smiles as Warzone comes to a close.”
To be continued...