7) No Escape Apr 8, 2018 0:06:20 GMT
Post by Cyberstrike on Apr 8, 2018 0:06:20 GMT
Reviewed by: Judge Turd w/ Derrick Xtreme
The show starts off to some GX music and out comes The Young One Sandy Drake, and mr. wigger himself, JASON LOVE! TYO gets on the mic and states that Seith Helloct suffered a slight concussion and can't compete until the last show of the tour. Gee talk about being a big WIMP there by Seith. I know GME stiffed him good, but he could ATLEAST show up here and do his lights trick or some stupid thing like that. Anyways, both of them leave the ringside for the first match.
Grandamster E and Igz vs Misled Youth
Speak of the devil, its GME making his way for the first match. Afterwards, the X-WCW UW champ himself comes out of the ringside area to some cheers. Soon enough, Misled Youth makes their entrance and the fans just boo them hard like the heels they are!
Match starts with GME taking on Chaz. After the lockup, GME quickly takes down Chaz with a snapmare takedown and locks on a sleeper hold. Chaz gets up and reverses the hold before he gets thrown into the ropes by the former champ. On his way back, Chaz gets hit hard by a back elbow to the face by GME. @ 1:48, GME tags out to Igz and holds an armbar at Chaz before Igz breaks it up with a springboard elbow smash to the arm. Ignavus takes control of the matchup for the rest of the way, until of course, Chaz delivers a cheap shot to the groin that the ref didn’t see. @ 3:04, Ignavus is taken down by a hard dropkick after the unseen lowblow by Chaz. Chaz stomps down on Igz before he draws some heel heat for kicking Igz hard on the back. He hauls up Ignavus and sends him into a corner with a European uppercut. He tags out to Trevor and suplexes Igz from the corner before Trevor connects with a springboard legdrop on the throat of Igz. Trevor delivers some hard shots to the back of Igz’s neck for the duration of the period. He sends Igz to the ropes and he catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Trevor tags Chaz back in and both men double team Igz on the corner for a couple of seconds. Chaz hits a hard snap suplex on Igz and the champ is down. @ 7:08, Chaz goes to the top rope for a moonsault, but Igz rolls out of the way. Both men are down and they are crawling towards their corners. Chaz tags Trevor back in while Igz gets the HOT TAG OF DOOM~! to Grandamster E. GME hops into the ring and takes out both of Misled Youth out in just seconds. Once he cleared the ring off Chaz with a huge clothesline to the ropes, he picks up Trevor for the powerbomb. However, Trevor Moon sneaks in a low blow! BAH GAWD THAT’S THE THIRD IN A ROW FROM THE TEAM! SOMEONE STOP THEM FROM DENYING BOTH IGZ AND GME THEIR BABIES! Trevor plants GME with the DDT and goes for the pin 1..2..NO! GME no sells it like Hogan and gets his shoulder up! Trevor does NOT believe it, well lets just say he is alone…damn alone with that, and hits GME with some knees to the gut before he shoots him into the ropes. Unbeknownst to him, Igz tags GME with a pat on the back and is in the match as the legal man. On the way back, GME ducks a clothesline and grabs him. He spins Trevor around for an atomic drop and he connects it before Igz runs up to Trevor for a running enzugiri. With the atomic drop-enzugiri combo delivered, the champ pins Trevor 1..2..3!
Winners: Ignavus and Grandmaster E via pinfall @ 9:38
After the match, Misled Youth run like the scolded dogs that they are. Inside the ring, GME raises the hand of the champ and they pose for the fans before both men leave the ringside area at the same time.
#1 contendership to the X-WCW Tag Team titles
The Devil's Rejects vs The Twisted Hunters vs PowerBomb
Before the match even began, the Hunters made a point of throwing catcalls at Bombshell and Powermaster, generally about the PowerBomb team being, and I quote, "wrinklier than an elephant's balls". Lovely! Whilst PowerBomb seethed on the outside, the Hunters high-fived - and walked right into stereo Big Boots from them Rejects! Ooh-yah! The bell is rung (0:00) and Powermaster slides into the ring while Jake Hunter and Casus leave for their respective corners, Bombshell joining them on the apron a moment later. Reaper and PMP have a jolly old time laying into Ken with a double DDT, a double Suplex, and a double Double Underhook Driver - which might have been some kinda mistake, because I don't think that's a real move - before Reaper comes to his senses and remembered they weren't on the same team, so decides to blindside Powermaster, knocking him clean out of the ring before going for a cover, which gets a 2 and a bit of frozen pork. Uh, and then Ken kicks out. (0:57)
Reaper thumps the mat in anger before tagging in Casus, who looks rightfully surprised as Ken hops up and runs straight at him! Whatcha gonna do, weirdo?! What he does is this - a Back Toss with serious power, sending Ken soaring right over the turnbuckle before he crashes into a heap on the outside! Sunuvakangaroo that was cool! The ref seethes as he's forced to restart the ring-out count he was making for PMP - and then almost starts pulling his hair out when Casus leaves the ring too. The Crimson One approaches the reeling Ken, but gets pulled back by Powermaster, who whips Casus to the safety railings, which sends Casus tumbling right over them and into the front row! Which is kinda lucky, since that's where only the most hygienic fans are allowed to sit. Like me...shut up. PMP gloats a little, before he almost gets his head taken off by Reaper, taking a running dive off the apron and into one heckuva Clothesline! (1:42) Evidently feeling a little left out, Bombshell and Jake Hunter step into the ring and start brawling, which the stressed-out ref clearly objects to. But not for long, as Bombshell rabbit-punches him square between the eyes! That's not very nice! And it might not have been too smart, since Jake immediately capitalises on the situation by kicking Bombers in the groin. As Bombshell sinks to his knees, Jake slides out of the ring, studiously avoiding all the others out there, and checks under the skirting. Uh-oh, what's he got, what's he got? He's got - A HERRING!...not. It's a 2-litre Faygo bottle wrapped in barbed wire. OMG! What the hell use is that? Jake clearly has trouble even holding the thing - and I don't blame him! There's not enough un-pointy space to get a secure grip on! Nevertheless, Jake drags it back into the ring and smacks the bottle over Bombshell's head. We see blood! BLOOD! Blood on Bombshell! Bombshell is bleeding! BLEEDING! I need to calm down... (2:21)
Outside the ring, Powermaster tries to Suplex Casus back over the railings - after a rather impressive Sidewalk Slam on Reaper which I forgot to mention a few moments earlier, sorry! - but Casus counters it and brings PMP over into the crowd with him. Meanwhile, a recovered (Finally! Ever hear of something called 'over-selling'?) Ken pulls one section of the ring steps from their moorings - and charges right at Casus! Who doesn't see him coming this time! Spittle and other savoury fluids fly as a flat side of the unforgiving steel meets with Crevious' face! (I know it was spit because it hit me. Yuck.) Casus collapses beside PMP, and Ken leans against the safety railings for a moment to catch his breath. In the ring, Jake's pin attempt fails because the lazy-bones ref still hasn't woken up, so he picks up the bottle again - delicately! - and starts to grind it back and forth over Bombshell's gaping head wound. The Canuck yells unintelligibly for a few seconds - what else is new? - before surprising everyone with an odd little hop, jerking the bottle up and into Jake's face! Wowzorz! (3:37) Jake drops the bottle and falls head-over-heels backwards just as Reaper pulls himself back into the ring, quickly delivering a Shuffle Side Kick to Bombshell's chin, then kicking the barbed-wire bottle out of the ring as the ref struggles back to sobriety. Reaper pulls Jake to his feet and delivers a nasty Shoulder Tackle right into the corner post, while the ref looks set to query who the legal men are, then gives up with a shrug. Reaper sticks the sole of one big boot viciously into Jake's neck, before Bombshell staggers over and taps him on the shoulder; when Reaper turns around in surprise, Bombers knees him in the gut and sets him up for - what else? - a Powerbomb! But Jake hops up on the top rope and leaps off for a Hurricanrana on Bombshell! And Bombshell lets go of Reaper and catches Jake up on his shoulders! And Reaper slides between Bombshell's legs - what the hell? He...JEEEEEEZZZ! Reaper, through some nigh-impossible limbo dance, lifts Bombshell up onto his shoulders...while Bombshell still holds Jake up high! Reaper takes a few wobbling steps forward...and a panicking Bombshell slams Jake down just as Reaper brings Bombshell down, sitout-style! The crowd goes absolutely mental, and I'm right there with them! Bah gawd, as my esteemed colleague Derrick is so fond of saying! (4:55)